EP. 260: You Have A Question Allowance - Truth #23

What Is a Question Allowance?

Marc defines a question allowance as the number of questions someone is willing to answer before they start getting tired of the questions. You rarely hear a customer announce that the allowance has expired. Instead, you feel it in the conversation.

The detailed answer becomes a sentence. The sentence becomes “yes” or “no.” Then comes, “Why don’t you send me some information?” or “You should probably talk to someone else about that.” The meeting may technically continue, but discovery is effectively over.

“When that allowance runs out, the questions are over, the answers aren’t truth, and you’re not really accomplishing anything.”
— Marc Lamson

The challenge is especially acute when receptivity is already low. A cold prospect may give you one or two real questions. An executive with a packed schedule may have little patience for questions that don't immediately demonstrate relevance. A long-standing customer who trusts you may start with a much larger allowance.

Even with the same person, though, the allowance changes depending on the situation. A first discovery meeting may naturally create room for questions. Come back to the next meeting and ask the same questions because someone new joined the call, and that allowance can disappear quickly.

That makes the seller’s job twofold: earn the largest reasonable question allowance you can, then use it wisely.

Great Questions Can Expand the Conversation

Tom describes one of the most important implications of Marc’s idea. Imagine you begin a conversation with an allowance of three questions. Ask a poor question, and you may be down to two. Ask another irrelevant one and discovery may be finished.

But ask a thoughtful question that demonstrates you understand the customer’s world, and something different happens. The customer leans in. They give you more context. They start sharing things they weren't planning to share. Suddenly, the allowance expands.

A person who said, “I have a hard stop at the top of the hour,” may decide they can stay another 15 minutes. That is not because the seller found a clever interrogation technique. It is because the customer decided the conversation was worth continuing.

Tab connects that directly to receptivity. You can often feel the shift during a strong conversation. The customer starts guarded, then the right questions gradually lower the wall.

That is why questioning cannot be separated from ASLAN’s Other-Centered® approach. The customer is constantly evaluating whether continuing the conversation is worth it.

Start by Asking Permission

One of Marc’s simplest recommendations is also one sellers sometimes resist: ask permission.

Sellers often worry that if they ask permission, the customer might say no. That is exactly the point. Giving the customer freedom to choose reduces pressure and creates receptivity.

Marc contrasts asking someone for “a few minutes to talk” with explaining why you are calling and asking permission to ask a couple of questions to determine whether the subject is even relevant. The second approach lowers the perceived obligation. You are not asking the customer to commit to a sales conversation they may not want. You are asking them to explore whether continuing would be useful.

Tom describes it as one of the easiest agreements a seller can earn: permission to ask a couple of questions and determine whether it makes sense to go deeper.

That small shift is Other-Centered® because the customer retains control.

Ask Questions at the Right Level

Once you have permission, the next test is whether your question fits the person you are asking. Marc describes this as alignment.

A highly strategic question asked of someone focused entirely on day-to-day operations may create confusion. The reverse is often even more damaging. Ask a senior executive a tactical question that someone three levels down could answer, and you have just spent part of a very limited question allowance proving that the conversation may not be worth their time.

Marc gives a simple rule: If you can get the information from somebody else, don’t ask the executive.

That principle connects directly to ASLAN’s concept of understanding the customer’s whiteboard. A Level 1 contact who does the work has a different whiteboard from the Level 2 leader managing the work. The executive responsible for the business has another one entirely.

Your questions should map to what matters on that person’s whiteboard. At an operational level, that may be product performance or execution. At a management level, it may be staffing, budget, or departmental results. At an executive level, it may be growth, risk, strategy, or whether the broader plan will succeed.

When sellers ask questions at the wrong level, customers do not simply think, “That was a mediocre question.” They start questioning whether the seller belongs in the conversation at all.

Stop Focusing on the Exact Question

Sales training often gives sellers lists of questions. That can help, especially when someone is learning how to conduct discovery, but Marc warns against becoming overly focused on the wording of the next question.

Instead, get clear about what you are trying to learn.

When sellers focus on completing a list, the conversation can sound like an interview. Question. Answer. Next question. Answer. Next question. The customer can feel the checklist.

Marc recommends a different exercise: require the seller’s next question to include something from the customer’s previous answer. If the customer says growth is a priority, the next question might explore what “growth” actually means to them. If they say performance has been “pretty good,” ask what “pretty good” looks like.

Now the questions connect. The customer is no longer answering a questionnaire. They are participating in a conversation.

That approach often stretches one opening question into a much deeper discovery conversation without the customer experiencing it as a series of unrelated questions.

Give Them a Reason to Answer

Some information is naturally harder to get. Budget, competitive relationships, internal politics, personal priorities, and decision criteria can all create resistance because customers may not understand what the seller plans to do with the answer.

Tom describes the thought process behind a budget question perfectly. A customer may assume that if they reveal a $500 budget, the seller will recommend a $499 solution. In that situation, the resistance is rational.

The seller has not explained why answering is in the customer’s best interest.

Marc calls this priming the question. Before asking for sensitive information, tell the customer why you need it and how their answer will help you serve them more effectively.

He shares an example from a health coaching organization ASLAN worked with. Coaches needed to ask participants about household income, a deeply personal question that generated very low response rates. The information mattered because income could affect which healthcare programs and benefits were available to the participant.

Originally, roughly 12% answered. Once the coaches explained why they were asking and how the information could help connect the person with appropriate programs, Marc says the response rate rose to 87%.

The question did not change. The customer’s reason to answer did.

The Question Behind Every Question

Toward the end of the episode, Tom connects the entire concept back to ASLAN’s Default Principle.

People naturally default to thinking about themselves. Sellers think, “I need to know the budget. I need to know the timeline. I need to identify the decision-maker. I need to understand the competition.”

Those may all be legitimate things to learn, but the customer is asking a different question:

Why is it in my best interest to answer you?

“If we’re constantly thinking that’s what they’re thinking, then our question allowance will grow.”
— Tom Stanfill

That may be the most important discipline behind effective discovery. Before asking your question, leave your world long enough to consider theirs.

Does this question make sense at their level? Have I demonstrated enough credibility to ask it? Do they understand why I need the information? Does answering potentially help them? Am I building from what they already told me?

If the answer is yes, you are far more likely to earn another question.

Trusted Partners Get More Questions

Executives and customers are willing to talk when they believe you know something they do not. Marc describes that as a general rule: people will spend time with someone who may have useful perspective that can help them strengthen their strategy or plan.

That is a very different role from a seller who needs information to complete discovery. Trusted Partners bring something to the conversation too. They share what they are seeing across the market, connect patterns from other organizations, and bring informed questions grounded in what is happening in the customer’s world.

Tom points out that executives frequently want to know one thing from sellers who have earned credibility: What are other people doing?

Sellers have access to insights across customers, industries, and organizations that individual executives may not see from inside their own company. Sharing that perspective creates value, and value earns more conversation.

That is how a question allowance grows, not by becoming better at extracting information, but by becoming more valuable to talk to.

Discovery Is Something You Earn

There is a temptation in sales to treat discovery as something sellers are entitled to because the customer agreed to a meeting.

They are not.

A meeting gives you access. It does not give you unlimited permission to investigate. Every question either builds or spends some of the customer’s willingness to continue.

Ask permission. Understand their whiteboard. Ask at the right level. Give them a reason to answer. Listen closely enough that your next question comes from their last answer. Bring insight worth discussing.

Then keep one question in front of yourself throughout the conversation:

Why is it in their best interest to answer me?

Do that well, and your question allowance tends to expand because the best discovery conversations do not feel like discovery at all.

They feel like a conversation worth continuing.