Here’s a disruptive truth for you: the receptivity of your audience has more impact on your success than the power of your message. 

Think about planting. A seed that lands on concrete doesn’t germinate. If the soil isn’t fertile, the quality of the seed just doesn’t matter. Creating fertile soil always precedes planting.

During the last 25 years of studying sales conversations, we’ve learned that the receptivity of the customer has more impact on influence than the most persuasive message. When people are emotionally closed, the more you try to persuade them with logical arguments, the more closed they become.

If someone is emotionally unreceptive, the truth doesn’t matter. 

Since this is true, then our next logical question is, “How do you create receptivity?” Where do you start? The first step is to examine your motive.

Why Are Customers Wary of Sales Reps?

Think for a moment about the reason most customers are resistant to listening to sales reps.

It really boils down to one simple fact – reps get paid for convincing people to embrace their recommendation – and anytime money is involved, people question your motive. 

Why? Because experience has taught ALL of us that when interacting with sales people (who stand to make money if you accept their recommendations), we should question the accuracy of their statements. 

We all have been burned or, at a minimum, seen the duplicity in what they are trying to evangelize. Hear me: I am not saying that this is reality or represents all sales people, but I am saying that this is the perception of most prospects when entering into a sales interaction. 

“I’m Just Looking”

The other day I walked into a major department store to look at TVs. Mind you, I know nothing about TVs, except that they are thinner and lighter than they used to be. But that’s about it. 

So as I was walking in the store, my first thought should have been: 

“I need to find someone to help me! Someone to explain how TV’s work and which one is right for me. I bet they have people who work here whose job it is to help me.” 

But that wasn’t my perspective. My subconscious thought was, 

“I’ve got to figure this out on my own because I can’t trust someone who gets paid to sell me a TV.” 

So I started on my journey to become an expert in TVs, when I was approached by a guy in the store  uniform. Guess what the first thing out of my mouth was (after his polite introduction)… 

“I’m just looking.” 

But his reply surprised me. He said, “I’m not on commission.” In other words, he was communicating, “You can TRUST me. I don’t make money based on what I recommend so what I do recommend will be good for you.” This changed everything; I then began barraging the guy with questions. My receptivity skyrocketed. 

Although you may not be in consumer sales, the takeaway is just as powerful. People are resistant, not because they are rejecting your solution, but because they are rejecting a sales call. As long as they hold to their subconscious belief that your motive is un-pure, at best they will be extremely suspicious of everything you say (i.e., low receptivity) and at worst, they’ll just run for the hills. 

Address the Tension

The key is to address the elephant in the room, instead of acting like two strangers simply meeting each other for the first time, with no preconceived ideas about one another’s character. Unless we reveal our motive early in the relationship, receptivity will remain low.

Let’s not just jump to the conclusion that all that matters is what you SAY to try to persuade the decision-maker to trust you. The place to start, as strange as it sounds, is determining your own motive and asking yourself one simple question: 

“Is my #1 objective in this meeting to help the person make the best decision or is it to earn a commission?” 

Someone has to be first – so it’s either you or the customer. It really is that simple. I’m not saying we have to eliminate the desire for a commission, but I am saying that someone is the priority. And if YOU are the priority, your filter will break down and the message to your customer will be:

“I don’t have your back. You are on your own. You can’t trust me to partner with you and help you determine a better way. You can’t bring me in early in the process to brainstorm about the best solution because the answer will always be what I’m selling. I am going to do or say what I need to do or say to win.” 

In other words, your motive will ultimately be transparent – and if your motive is simply “your win,” the result is an adversarial relationship where receptivity remains extremely low. Belief drives behavior.

Once you have truly examined your motive and made a decision that you will be more successful if you decide to put the customer first, (as cheesy as this sounds), how to communicate that message in the meeting will be effortless. It will come to you. And it will be genuine and people will be considerably more receptive to your message.

What’s Next?

In the meantime, if your team is struggling to make the transition to virtual selling, click here for our new program. 

We would be happy to understand your challenges and see if we can help. ASLAN started as an inside sales training company in 1996, working to help sales teams overcome the very same challenges we are all facing today.

Tom Stanfill

As Co-founder and CEO, Tom’s primary role is to create content that helps people live, sell, and serve more effectively. Find him on LinkedIn