Use The 3 P’s To Influence Your Unreceptive Customer

You probably know the feeling: you're in a conversation with a prospect or customer, presenting what should be a compelling solution, and you can sense they're just not with you. Maybe they're polite but distant. Maybe they're asking the right questions but something feels off. Or maybe they're just not responding at all.

Most of us do one of two things: we either push harder with more information and logic, or we back off and move on to the next opportunity.

Neither works particularly well. What does work? The best sales leaders focus on three fundamentals, Priority, Pressure, and Point of View, which shift how you connect when someone seems closed off.

If you’d prefer to take this topic on-the-go, listen to the full conversation on SALES with ASLAN podcast episode 109.

#1: Priority

Someone’s always the priority in any sales conversation. And buyers almost always assume it’s you. After all, you’ve got a number to hit and a solution to pitch. If you don’t pause and check your motive, you’ll slip straight into self-focus: prepping what you need to say, what you want to ask, how to move your agenda forward. 

Buyers pick up on this instantly. “Commission breath” travels fast. They sense if you’re there for them or for yourself.

To change the entire tone of the conversation, you need to reset your internal compass. Before every interaction, take an intentional pause. Ask yourself: What’s really on their plate today? Where does your solution (really) fit in their world? 

When you walk in focused on their reality, everything shifts. They become the main character. Engagement builds because you’ve proven to them that you’re there to serve, not just to sell.

Here’s how to put this into play:

• Before every meeting, pause and ask yourself: “What pressures or distractions are on their mind? How can I prove that I’m here for them?”
• Say it out loud early: “Let’s make sure this time is valuable for you. What’s most pressing for you right now?”
• If you find yourself drifting to your next talking point, gently steer back: “Are we where you need us to be, or is there something else we should focus on?”
• Pay attention to what happens. Are they volunteering new information without you fishing for it? Are their questions focused on their goals? That feedback tells you you’re on the right path.

You’ll know you’ve got it right when meetings feel less scripted, customers share honestly, and you walk away with new details about what actually matters to them, not just what you hoped to hear. That’s how you create the kind of conversations where everyone wins.

#2: Pressure

No one likes to feel pressured, but in a sales conversation, buyers expect it simply because you (the seller) have something to gain. It’s not just about hard closes or aggressive pitches, either; even subtle cues, like steering too forcefully or framing with “should” and “must,” could signal that their freedom is at risk.

In plenty of cases, buyers aren’t resisting your message, but rather the feeling of being cornered. If your prospect senses any attempt to control, their defenses go up. 

ASLAN’s "Tug of War Principle" captures this perfectly: the harder you pull, the harder they’ll pull back. Arguments or strong-arming break trust and end real influence.

The better path is to drop the rope. Create space for choice, and demonstrate through words and actions that you trust them to decide.

Here’s how to put it into play:

• Notice moments of tension. If the conversation gets prickly or stalls, ask: “Am I accidentally applying pressure—pressing my agenda instead of inviting theirs?”
• Audit your language in real time. Swap directive words (“must,” “need to,” “required”) for language that opens doors: “might consider,” “could be an option,” “if it’s valuable to you…”
• Use permission statements. Even a simple, “Would it make sense to talk about ___?” shows you respect their autonomy.
• If you feel resistance (defensiveness, withdrawal, shallow answers), pause and acknowledge it. “We don’t need to go down this path if it’s not helpful for you. Is there a direction that’s a better fit?”

You’ll know you’re succeeding when the tone shifts: buyers lean in, share more openly, and the conversation feels like true collaboration, not a test of wills. Invitations, not instructions, are what increase receptivity and move deals forward.

To build the habit:

• At the end of every call, jot down: Where did I sense tension and how did I respond? Did I open space, or pull the rope tighter?
• Role-play objections and hard questions with your team using only invitation language. Notice how different it feels, and how much more buyers engage when the choice is theirs.

The best sales conversations aren’t push and pull—they’re two people problem-solving together. That happens only when you drop the rope and let customers choose their own path forward.

#3: Point of View

Point of View is what separates a rep who’s merely empathetic from a Trusted Partner who earns a seat at the strategy table. Success isn’t about empty nods or generic pain-point chatter; it’s about showing you understand what success (or failure) looks like from their side of the desk, right now.

If you start the meeting by laying out your own plan or recommendation first, you fall right into the pattern buyers expect: another seller focused on their own pitch and priorities. That’s when buyers put up walls. 

On the other hand, if you can instead state their challenge, using their metrics, their language, and their context, you can change that power dynamic fast. You don’t just sound empathetic; you sound qualified to help.

How to make this real in enterprise sales:

• Start every major conversation by summarizing what actually lives on your customer’s whiteboard: “Because you need to launch two products this quarter with no new headcount, let’s focus on automation options that won’t stretch your team thinner.”
• Can’t do that with confidence? Pause and draw out their POV first: “What’s shifted for you since our last review? What’s now the one thing that can’t drop?”
• When your expertise diverges from their direction, always validate their logic before sharing your own: “Given your CEO has flagged compliance risk, it makes sense you’re wary of new integrations. Would you be open to lessons learned from others who stayed audit-ready during transitions?”

You’ll know Point of View is landing when buyers clarify, correct, or expand on your summary, instead of drifting off or pushing back. Now the conversation is rooted in their reality, not your assumptions or script.

Get this right, and you’ll find your advice actually lands. Buyers feel understood, trust builds, and you shift from “just another vendor” to agenda-shaping partner. In big deals, that’s the difference between being invited back and being tuned out after slide three.

Why Today’s Buyers Are Unreceptive

These days, buyers don’t dodge sales calls because they’re stubborn or oppositional. It’s because the decision landscape has fundamentally changed. From their perspective, it’s never been noisier or riskier to buy.

Here are a few common reasons why:

• Everyone is overloaded: Digital channels, AI-driven research, and aggregator reviews mean that by the time a sales meeting lands on their calendar, buyers have already seen the landscape. Reps who repeat generic market data or run through the same playbook add to the overwhelm, not the value.
• Risk is real, and rising: Market volatility, constant headlines about layoffs or cost-cutting, and expanding approval committees make leaders ultra-defensive. One misstep can mean budget cuts, so they guard their time and push away any conversation that doesn’t immediately align to top priorities.
• Trust is earned in inches: After years of “customer-centric” claims and templated pitches, enterprise leaders are wary of anything that smells like a script. Peer references and real-world proof now outweigh slide decks and value props.
• Digital everything has rewired expectations: Cold outreach, calls, and emails that could’ve been sent to any other company are seen as pure noise. If your message doesn’t clearly address their actual reality, it gets tuned out, fast.
• Attention is the rarest commodity: Leaders don’t have the bandwidth for another “just checking in” email. The bar has never been higher for what stands out. If you’re not cutting through the chaos with relevance and specificity, you’re invisible.

The challenge now isn’t to break through resistance by pushing harder; it’s to earn relevance, demonstrate fluency in their world, and focus every interaction on what genuinely moves the needle for them, right now.

Influence Starts with Receptivity

When customers seem emotionally closed, the instinct is to push harder or walk away. But the sellers who win aren’t the ones with the slickest pitch. They’re the ones who reset their motive, remove pressure, and speak from the customer’s world.

That’s how you earn trust. That’s how you influence the unreceptive.

Want your reps to connect instead of convince? Other-Centered® Selling program equips teams to lead with Priority, reduce Pressure, and anchor every conversation in the buyer’s point of view. If your sellers need a better way to break through, let’s explore how OCS can help.