Are You Sure You Really Know How to Clear Your Cache?

My wife and I were running late to the airport on a snowy day in Seattle. She was to fly home on Delta, and I was heading off to LA on Alaska Airlines. As we were returning our rental car, I wondered if we could reconnect once we got through security.

As I was getting my receipt from the rental car guy, I figured he’s just the guy who can help me. “Sam, where is Alaska Airlines related to…” He cut me off, stating “4th floor, take the elevators over there,” He pointed. I could tell I wasn’t going to get my question answered. I decided to ask the guy behind the counter. He seemed a little less pre-occupied.

“Can you tell me where Alaska…” He interrupts, “It’s on the fourth floor.” Now I’m getting a bit frustrated. “Hold on, hold on, hold on, I need to know where Alaska Airlines is related….” Cut off again with “It’s on the fourth floor, take the elevator to the left…” The dude cut me off again. I tried one more time, “I want to know where Alaska Airlines is compared to Delta. I know it’s on the fourth floor but where is it in relation to…” Believe it or not I couldn’t get an answer to the question. He refused to clear his ‘cache.’

His brain was loaded with the ‘cookies’ he received from hundreds of customers. As soon as his brain heard the familiar question, no more processing was required, the automatic message was sent. It’s why this blog is about ‘clearing the cache.’ If the title had hinted at being a better listener, you would have most likely skipped it. Think about it.

And candidly, as a leader, I sometimes do the same thing. The longer I’m in my role, the harder it is for me to ‘clear the cache.’ I have thousands of ‘cookies’ built up over the last 30 years, and they all tell my brain, “no need to download new information. You’ve heard this before.” Saves time and energy.

In most cases, it’s extremely helpful. Especially when driving a car. We don’t wonder about the purpose of those red lights on the back of the car. Or when encountering a bear, we don’t stop to ponder….I wonder if those claws are sharp? Do bears sometimes attack humans? No, we’ve already downloaded that information before – we just react. But when it comes to listening, our stored ‘cookies’ don’t save us, they kill our ability to communicate.

Great communicators, leaders and coaches know how to clear their ‘cache.’ Every conversation is new, as if hearing the information for the first time. They resist the temptation to increase the processing speed, “Yeah, yeah, I get it. You think the comp plan is unfair because… Of course, you have a problem with the leads, just like everyone else… You want us to make your job easier…I know you want to do it differently, but it won’t work. Here’s why…” Instead, they stop and download the information all over again. “Tell me what concerns you about the comp plan?”

“So what’s the big deal, I have heard it all before. I don’t have time to clear the cache,” you protest. I get it. I struggle to listen sincerely to the new rep’s complaint about why they have to follow the prescribed process. It would be so easy to spout off the answer – “up the escalators to the right, fourth floor to the left.” This does save time but in leadership the choice is simple, do you want to save time or do you want a relationship?

Our relational equity with our team members determines influence. When we look them in the eye, hear every syllable of the words they say, even picking up on what they don’t say, and validate their perspective - the relationship, and our influence, grows. Because when we don’t ‘clear the cache,’ and instead quickly categorize their message and spout off our standard response, the team member knows it. Leaving them to feel like they just called a contact center in India.

Listening begins with the belief that you don’t have the answer. And candidly, when I don’t ‘clear the cache,’ all too often I find out that I missed a key point, a new perspective… a human being.