Your Motive Is Ultimately Transparent

If last week I convinced you that the receptivity of the audience has more impact on your success than the power of the message, then the next logical question is “How do you create receptivity?” Where do you start? The first step is to examine your motive.

Think for a moment about the reason most customers are resistant to listening to sales reps. It really boils down to one simple fact – reps get paid for convincing people to embrace their recommendation – and any time money is involved, people question your motive. Why? Because experience has taught ALL of us that when interacting with sales people who stand to make money if you accept their recommendations, we should question the accuracy of their statements. We all have been burned or, at a minimum, seen the duplicity in what they are trying to evangelize. Hear me: I am not saying that this is reality or represents all sales people, but what I am saying is this is the perception of prospects when entering into a sales situation.The other day I walked into a major department store to look at TVs. Mind you, I know nothing about TV’s except that they are thinner and lighter than they use to be. But that’s about it. So as I am walking in the store, first thought was not, “I need to find someone to help me? Someone to explain how TV’s work and which one is right for me. I bet they have people who work here whose job it is to help me.” No, that wasn’t my perspective. My subconscious thought was, “I’ve got to figure this out on my own because I can’t trust someone who gets paid to sell me a TV.” So I start on my journey to become an expert in TVs when approached by a guy in a uniform. And guess what I said after his polite introduction? You know exactly what I said, “I’m just looking.” But his reply surprised me. He said, “I’m not on commission.” In other words, you can TRUST me. I don’t make money based on what I recommend so what I do recommend will be good for you. This changed everything and I then began barraging the guy with questions. My receptivity skyrocketed. 

Yes I know you most likely aren’t in consumer sales but the take away is just as powerful. People are resistant not because they are rejecting your solution but because they are rejecting a sales call. As long as they hold to their subconscious belief that your motive is un-pure they will at best be extremely suspect of everything you say (i.e., low receptivity) and at worst just bolt. The key is to address the elephant in the room as opposed to acting like we are just two strangers meeting each other for the first time with no preconceived ideas about one another’s character. Unless we reveal our motive early in the relationship, receptivity will remain low.

Let’s not just jump to the conclusion that all that matters is what you SAY to try to persuade the decision-maker to trust you. The place to start, as strange as it sounds, is determining your own motive and asking yourself one simple question: “Is my #1 objective in this meeting to help the person make the best decision or is it to earn a commission?” Someone has to be first. It’s either you or the customer. It really is that simple. I’m not saying we have to eliminate the desire for a commission but what I am saying is that someone is a priority. And if YOU are the priority, your filter will break down and the message will be sent – “I don’t have your back. You are on your own. You can’t trust me to partner with you and help you determine a better way. You can’t bring me in early in the process to brainstorm about the best solution because the answer will always be what I’m selling. I am going to do or say what I need to do or say to win.” In other words, your motive will ultimately be transparent. And if your motive is simply “your win,” the result is an adversarial relationship where receptivity is extremely low. Belief drives behavior.

Once you have truly examined your motive and made a decision that you will be more successful if you decide to put the customer first, as cheesy as that sounds, then how to communicate that message in the meeting will be effortless. It will come to you. And it will be genuine and people will be considerably more receptive to your message.