Have you ever been completely bored by a presentation, zoned out as someone drones on and on? Or thought,

“Why are they telling me this? Like I care about ____…”

Have you noticed someone’s eyes glazing over as you’re telling a story, making a pitch, or coaching them?

We’ve all played both roles in this tale, whether in a face-to-face meeting or when selling virtually.

Compelling Selling

It’s not hard to ID the problem, it’s always the same: the information wasn’t relevant or entertaining to the listener. 

I just left a meeting where a 70-year-old man told a room full of single men, in their thirties and forties, about his approach to telling bedtime stories to his grandson. He’s a good dude with a great heart but he might as well attempt to sell a bunch of teenage girls on the virtues of a rotary phone.

If the problem is so obvious, why do so few people successfully capture our attention? Or know how to craft and deliver a compelling message?

We are all victims of a disease that kills communication: the disease of self-centeredness. 

While it’s essential for survival, self-centeredness is our biggest nemesis when creating a compelling message. This is never more challenging than when we are interacting remotely and virtually with our clients.

The gravitational pull of our own interests can be so strong that we are blinded to the listener’s point of view. The relevance is often there, it just gets buried because we naturally communicate from our own vantage point.  

Here is my two-word solution: “Because you…”

When you want to influence someone, force yourself to start the sentence with,

“Because you…”

This will instantly capture their attention.

Everyone is interested in and entertained by their favorite subject: themselves.

If you are a leader and you want to address a gap in performance, begin the coaching session with, 

“Because you wanted to move into management…”

If you are a seller who is recommending a different approach to solving a problem, or you are trying to upsell a $200 product, start with, 

“Because you communicated that you…”

If you are a parent who is talking to a teenager about homework, start with, 

“Because you want to play volleyball for…”

Whether you communicate it verbally or just to yourself, it will force you to start with the listener’s point of view. And when you do, garnering their interest and attention is guaranteed.

If you can’t see and think from their perspective, you have some work to do. Either you have a motive problem, or just haven’t spent the requisite time to bridge the gap from their point of view to your recommendation.

Try it for a day. Watch what happens to your in person and virtual communication with customers.

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Tom Stanfill

As Co-founder and CEO, Tom’s primary role is to create content that helps people live, sell, and serve more effectively. Find him on LinkedIn