Welcome to SALES with ASLAN, a weekly podcast hosted by ASLAN Co-founders Tom Stanfill and Tab Norris, geared at helping sales professionals and sales leaders eliminate the hard sell. At the end of the day, we believe that selling is serving. ASLAN helps sellers make the shift from a ‘typical’ sales approach, to one that makes us more influential because we embrace the truth that the customer’s receptivity is more important than your value prop or message.
The goal of these interviews is to spotlight various experts in the world of sales and sales leadership – sharing informational stories, techniques, and expert interviews on the sales topics you care about.
The following are notes from Ep. 163 – Life Changing Quotes from 2022
In this episode, (the final one of the year), Tom and Tab share their favorite “principles, quotes, and truths” – ones that they’ve heard, collected, and taken to heart over the past year.
This feel-good episode is a great way to wrap up the year and put a bow on it. And speaking of wrapping and bows, we’d like to wish everyone a very happy and healthy holiday season!
Listen to the conversation here:
Or check out the full transcript:
00:14
Tom Stanfill
Welcome to another episode of SALES with ASLAN. And I’m your host Tom Stanfill. Welcome back to the studio tTb Norris, the doctor of sales training, the co-host of the most. Wait, the co host with The Most is I think that’s what I was trying to say.
00:32
Tab Norris
Yeah, that’s good.
00:33
Tom Stanfill
I like that. He currently teaches at Harvard, Columbia and Rhodes. I don’t know where I came up with that. Rhodes.
00:44
Tab Norris
I love Rhodes.
00:45
Tom Stanfill
Small College in Tennessee. Tabby, what’s going on, my friend? How have you been?
00:52
Tab Norris
Good. Just getting ready to wrapping up the year, scrambling around. How it is, everybody’s closing out, got to get those budgets drained. We want to bring it on in.
01:04
Tom Stanfill
A lot of times I feel like at the end of the year, things kind of ramp down. This year, that is not happening.
01:10
Tab Norris
No, it’s ramping up, I think. Yeah, you’re right. Which is good. Just getting a lot. It’ll screech to a halt, I think next week.
01:19
Tom Stanfill
Yeah, I do think people take most of a couple of days before Christmas, in the week after Christmas. I think people take that week off and I’m going to do my best to do the same, do a little planning work. Speaking of the end of the year, good transition.
01:38
Tab Norris
Just why you’re a professional podcaster. “Speaking of the end of the year…”
01:44
Tom Stanfill
Yeah, that was it. Speaking of the end of the year, I like these “best of the best” – recipes, like best Christmas cookies, best Christmas sweater, best that would have be a good one if this wasn’t a podcast.
Your favorite quilt comforter. I don’t know why I’m going in there, but now I was thinking about List, thinking about what’s the best of and I heard on a podcast the other day, he was talking about a word that he was focused on. It kind of got me thinking about the quotes or words that I’ve focused on probably in the last year that maybe have had the most impact on me or I think are the most maybe important quotes or thoughts or truth bombs that I’ve wrote down, thought about. And so I went through my quote. I keep a note called quotes and truth.
02:45
Tab Norris
Funny, I do too, but I didn’t say truth. I just have quotes. You’re a lot more detailed than me.
02:51
Tom Stanfill
Well, sometimes these are my truths.
02:56
Tab Norris
I just lump them all in. I can have my own quote or I can quote somebody else. I just call it a quote.
03:01
Tom Stanfill
Okay, I’ll change my note name, quotes and truth.
03:04
Tab Norris
That’s very strong.
03:07
Tom Stanfill
Hold on, I’ll actually read it to you because I probably have several. It says Principles, quotes and truths. That’s what it’s told.
03:19
Tab Norris
That’s even better.
03:20
Tom Stanfill
Yeah, and I also have a note called just Quotes. I don’t know what the difference is in those two things, but I think that shows some of my organizational capabilities but Tab yeah. We wanted to narrow down to our top quotes for 2022, and they may not have been said in 22, but it’s something that got our attention, maybe changed us in a way, got us thinking differently, had an impact on us, and we want to share. So, Tab, since you are you won the award for the best co host in the country last year. Yes. Why don’t you go first?
04:00
Tab Norris
Okay. I love this idea. I love to read. I’m always loving.
04:05
Tom Stanfill
Yeah, you’re a voracious rate. How many books do you read a year, by the way? I was listening to John A cup’s podcast, which I love. John a cup.
04:12
Tab Norris
Yeah. What does he strive for?
04:16
Tom Stanfill
He read like almost 60 books this year.
04:18
Tab Norris
Yeah, I’m not in that range. I’m like a 20 book a year guy. Okay, you’re 2025 books. Not a lot. I could do so much better. I wanted to set a goal of 40 books, but I thought that’s a little strong. I think this year I’m going to set a goal for 30 books.
04:36
Tom Stanfill
30 books. I’m going to make that a goal for this year. I’m not saying it’s going to be 30, but I’m going to set up a book goal. I probably read 50 to 60 pages a year.
04:47
Tab Norris
So you could do a page goal. I’m going to try to get through 473 pages. What gets you is you go with a big class. I decided to tackle like a James Mitchener Hawaii, and it’s like seven gajillion pages. You do that and it kind of hurts your numbers. I’m better at going to shorter books.
05:08
Tom Stanfill
Yeah, shorter books. It feels better. It feels like yours.
05:13
Tab Norris
But I do like this idea. I started and I kind of pulled through some of my quotes, too, and I’m kind of all over the place. Some are old, new, whatever, but it’s just these are things that have hit me this year that I felt it meant enough for me to write it down in my little iPad. So I’m going to start with one. It’s a book that was probably the most impactful. I could have pulled seven quotes out of this one book, but I didn’t. I only picked one. I decided to spread the love. But you know this. We’ve talked about it on our podcast before, but the book Win the Day by Matt Mark Batterson.
05:53
Tom Stanfill
Yeah, we talked about our last podcast. I thought you might dig into that. I did not pull quotes out of that because I figured you might.
06:00
Tab Norris
Thank you. There was a bunch I could have pulled, but it was my favorite and it really set everything up for him. This is one of his favorite quotes, and I think it actually came from his grandmother or somebody. I don’t know. I don’t know if I’m saying that right, but it was from his book. And here it goes. Almost anybody can accomplish almost anything if they work at it long enough, hard enough, and smart enough.
06:31
Tom Stanfill
Yeah, that’s good. You got to stay strong. Why did that hit you? Because.
06:46
Tab Norris
I believe that’s the way I live my life. I really do think I battle. I don’t know if you do. I I mean, probably don’t, but sometimes I’ll battle with limiting myself. I think I can do far more than I think I can do. And that quote inspires me on that.
07:05
Tom Stanfill
I never limit myself. I think I can do anything, Tab.
07:08
Tab Norris
See, I know I really do. That’s why you would never pull this quote.
07:12
Tom Stanfill
That is a joke. No, I remember reading that. That is a joke, Tab. That was a joke. You’re supposed to have it. No, I completely matter of fact, one of my quotes is going to be around fear.
07:20
Tab Norris
Yeah, it’s one of those things where it’s just more of a just show up, don’t give up, be persistent. I’m an average plus enough intelligence that if I do this, I can do far beyond what I think I can do. And that’s why I love this quote. I’ve come back to it several times.
07:43
Tom Stanfill
Throughout this year that reminds me of a couple of quotes that are not on my list, but things that really stuck with me. I remember, and this was in the famous songwriter was being interviewed, and he kind of talked about himself, like, the way you are, I’m okay. This was encouraging to me because I need to know that I can accomplish it, which is not the way I see you, but it’s the way most people feel. It’s the way I feel. They asked this guy who’s prolific writer, very successful. People would know I don’t remember his name. He wasn’t somebody that people knew his names, but they would know his songs. Right. Because he was the guy behind the scenes writing the song. And they said, Why are you successful? He said, Because people that are more talented quit.
08:34
Tab Norris
Yes. That’s a good one.
08:36
Tom Stanfill
I loved that. I was like, yes, that’s so true. It really is about focusing on what you’re called to do and just doing it and removing the mental barriers, and you can accomplish it. To me, I look at it as either you’re a victim, life has been done to you, or you have the ability to solve your problems through help from others. Right. It doesn’t mean you do it alone, but you have the ability either through reading, meeting, growing, changing, learning, whatever, making different decisions to do what you’re called to do. So I love that. Beautiful.
09:17
Tab Norris
All right, so you’re up.
09:21
Tom Stanfill
Top of the list, and this isn’t any particular order, but I’m going to focus on kind of connected to yours, and it’s around failure. Ryan Reynolds, the famous poet, right. I think he teaches at Larvae as well. He’s actually incredible.
09:45
Tab Norris
He’s one of my he’s on the staff with me.
09:48
Tom Stanfill
You know him? I know him at Harvard. I think he’s been on podcast. You guys probably have a lot in common.
09:55
Tab Norris
Yeah.
09:56
Tom Stanfill
No, he’s actually a very prolific, successful entrepreneur. I don’t know if it’s gin or vodka. I know it’s one it’s a liquor that he came up with. It was very successful, like, sold for gazillion dollars. He’s got a cellular company. He got a marketing firm. He had a lot going on, and he was interviewed an Entrepreneur magazine, and he said, you can’t be good at something unless you’re willing to be bad. That really resonated with me because I actually think as I’ve gotten older, that I have a fear of being bad at something. It’s very painful for me to fail, and I also want the respect of other people. I put myself out there and I fail, it’s painful, and that keeps me at least it did keep me early in my career from doing the things that would take me to the next level.
10:51
Tom Stanfill
It’s like I was unwilling to or let’s just say it this way, I had put limitations on myself to move really far outside my comfort zone. A great example of this is, like, I remember earlier in my sales career, we would do role plays. I hate it because I didn’t want to fail. The people that are successful, super successful, I think, are like, yeah, let’s do it. Let’s fail. Come on. I got to be willing to fail to get better. One of the most, I guess, relevant things that I’m working through now related to that is related to writing and speaking. That’s not what I’ve been doing for my 20 plus years of Aslan. I mean, until the last several years, it’s been writing, right? I’m not a writer.
11:40
Tab Norris
I haven’t you actually are now.
11:44
Tom Stanfill
You know what I’m saying? It’s the way that I thought about it. There was this fear about saying, I’m going to put this out there for people to criticize, right? I’m going to put it out there. I’m going to say, I’m going to put it’s going to be a copy. I can’t change it. It’s out there. It’s done. People read the book and they say nothing, you’re like, okay, well, that means you probably didn’t like it, especially family members, but it’s a chance to be rejected. If you speak, the feedback is instantaneous. It’s like, people are like, whatever, they’re looking at their phone, or it’s a very clear so I’ve been focusing more on, hey, look, this is part of the process. Am I supposed to do this? Am I called to do it? Is this what brings me enjoyment? It’s a part of my purpose?
12:35
Tom Stanfill
Is it what I’m called to do? If so, pursue it and don’t let fear and just embrace it. That’s just part of it. It’s not about my identity.
12:44
Tab Norris
Yeah. I think I’ve told you this before, but one of the coolest things I watched with my boys when they were going through their West Point experience is that was one of my favorite things that the academy taught them, is to fail.
12:57
Tom Stanfill
To fail.
12:59
Tab Norris
Embrace it, and they make you fail. Most of these people have never failed, and they show up and they create situations where they have to fail constantly. It’s how they recover, how they deal with it, what they learn from it. And it really does change your mindset. You become so much more fearless, and there’s a method to the madness because it’s stretching, it’s getting you comfortable doing things that are outside your comfort zone, which I think that we all need.
13:32
Tom Stanfill
And people, I think, generally mass fears. With Laziness. It’s like, coolness. I’m not into that. For me, was like, School, you can’t tell me I’m dumb if I don’t try, right? If I don’t try, you can’t tell me I’m dumb because I always have this out card. I go, I didn’t listen to class, and I didn’t but I’m, like in the back of my mind, it was like, Well, I’m not playing that game, right? I know what’s required to get to college. I will give you just what I need to do to get to college, and that’s all I’m going to do. I’m not going to do any more because I’m not playing your game, which the game is if I really try, you can give me feedback that tells me I’m not very good. I think if we figure out what our fear is, we address it and we can decide, hey, what we want is more important.
14:32
Tom Stanfill
What we’re designed to do and what’s going to bring us fulfillment is more important than the barrier of fear and addressing that. So, anyway, that’s something I’ve been embracing and doing much better at. I don’t see fear keeping me from moving forward anymore.
14:49
Tab Norris
Yeah. All right, well, I can’t connect off that. I hope that I’m not a professional podcaster.
14:59
Tom Stanfill
You don’t have to make the transaction. I tell you what. I’ll make the transition.
15:02
Tab Norris
Okay, great. This one’s a little different. This was a book that had a major impact in my life that you have reread it probably twice, and I’m not counting double reads, by the way. I read this at least two or three times this year. The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark. Comr.
15:19
Tom Stanfill
I have not read I read a similar book, but it was about the same topic, which probably why I haven’t read it. But I need to read it.
15:29
Tab Norris
He is actually in the book, quoting William Irvine from his book called A Guide to the Good Life. I wrote this down, and here it is. There is a danger that you will miss live, that despite all your activities, despite all the pleasant diversions, you might have enjoyed while alive, you will end up living a bad life. There is, in other words, a danger that when you’re on your deathbed, you will look back and realize that you wasted your one chance at living. Instead of spending your life pursuing something genuinely valuable, you squandered it because you allowed yourself to be distracted by the various bubbles life has to offer. I just thought, man, that’s what I do not want. I do not want to waste my life. I’m 57, and I feel like I’ve lived pretty good life, but hopefully I have some life left, and I just don’t want it’s so easy to be distracted.
16:37
Tab Norris
Like you said, you spend your life pursuing something genuinely valuable. I want to finish my life pursuing that. Everything I do, we work, we sell, we train, we do all these things. Making that valuable, looking beyond just making money, looking beyond just, quote, having success, very impactful this year.
17:07
Tom Stanfill
I love that the current is so strong in the other direction, and if you’re where life is taking us right now, the pace, I mean, everybody is just moving so fast in a certain direction. Kids are so involved, and if your parents you’ve got kids doing a million different things, your cell phone is always buzzing. You’re just maxed out, which actually reminds me of a quote that I heard on a podcast the other day is like, it’s something to do that New York does not destroy at Central Park. They said, if you really want the quote, it stuck with me because it was like, new York knows it will not survive if you destroy its Central Park.
17:58
Tab Norris
That was right.
17:59
Tom Stanfill
You got to have a Central Park where you go, and there’s a place of rest and a place that you can get out of this crazy hectic life that we’re in, and we get in that central, our Central Park, and we step back and say, what is it that we are? What do we need to be doing? What do we want to be doing? How do we want our life to move? Where are we headed, and what are we giving our life to? Because it’s not accomplishment, right? I know. Some of it’s just the pressure. It’s just the way life works now. I mean, we get 10,000 messages a day. I think that’s just one of the reasons that everybody is so have such anxiety. The need for anxiety medication is a skyrocket is because of the pace. I’m not a scientist, Tab, but that’s my don’t quote me on that.
18:52
Tom Stanfill
That kind of leads me, Tab, to my quote. I become a big fan of Arthur Brooks.
18:59
Tab Norris
Yes. I just listened to Arthur Brooks, the podcast. No.
19:07
Tom Stanfill
Did I send it to you? Rich Rolls?
19:08
Tab Norris
Yeah, you sent it to me.
19:09
Tom Stanfill
Yeah. It was on Rich Rolls podcast.
19:12
Tab Norris
That’s what it was.
19:13
Tom Stanfill
I became a big fan of Arthur Brooks. He just wrote a book. I think we talked about our last podcast. I think it’s called I did, I mentioned it on live podcast. I covered the book Strength to Strength, I think it’s called, something like that, but on this podcast with ritual. If you guys want to look that up, it’s a super podcast. But he’s like become this happiness guru. What I love about him is it’s the Brene Brown story. It’s like she self admittedly would say the last person needs to focus on authenticity and relationships is me. Like, I’m a scientist. This is not what I want to hear, but it’s what I need. He has the same approach when he talks about happiness. He ran, he was a CEO of a think tank in DC. He’s just lived this fast paced life. He’s a professor at Harvard.
20:10
Tom Stanfill
He was a professional musician. I mean, he’s just one of those guys that’s like super achiever. He realized he’s not happy and most people aren’t happy. What he said from and it started to really resonate with me because I’ve started to feel the same I guess, decline in my happiness and fulfillment as I’ve gotten older. I think it has a lot to do with the pace. I was really excited about this message. This is something he said on the podcast, the hole we are trying to fill in our soul. What drives us is love. I did not expect him to say that because he’s talking like a scientist. He’s like, yeah, this is what we really want. We talk about this all the time. We talk about in our training programs, we talk about our greatest need is love, acceptance, and worth. I mean, this is why we do everything.
21:04
Tom Stanfill
So that’s the greatest. That’s what we really want. He said the happiness 401K plan, I love that concept.
21:11
Tab Norris
That’s good.
21:13
Tom Stanfill
I tend to focus on my 401K, not my happiness 401K, my financial 401K. My happiness 401K is to invest in family, friendship and faith and using your talents to serve other people. He also talks about in the podcast, he said there’s three macronutrients, and I hope I can quote this right, that drives your health. The combination of these macronutrients will tell you if you have a healthy diet, it’s just three things. You said. The same thing is true for habitat diet. It’s sugar, carbs, and fat. You may be able to correct me on that tab because you’re more tapped into that. I’m more of a cheat. Mine is cheeseburger.
22:00
Tab Norris
Cheese and bread. That’s all you need.
22:02
Tom Stanfill
Cheeseburger. Yeah, I’m trying to work on that. He said the macronutrients of happiness is enjoyment, satisfaction and purpose. It’s like enjoyment, satisfaction, and a lot of the enjoyment has to do with doing it with other people. He said the loneliest people on the planet are 60 year old men because they don’t know how to have relationships. He said women are better at it, but enjoyment is it’s about doing things with others and then doing the things that bring you satisfaction, probably, because you’re created to do those things. You feel good at it, which is part of our need, is to feel mastery, be good at our craft and purpose, doing things that matter. If you’re a striker and you want to achieve, that is not your wiring. Right. He said he quoted a CEO who was not happy but super successful. The woman said, I would rather be special than happy because I think that’s a false belief.
23:13
Tom Stanfill
Ultimately that’s going to end up with our 401K is going to be empty.
23:17
Tab Norris
If that’s our enjoyment, satisfaction and purpose, that’s really good because that kind of nets it out pretty well.
23:26
Tom Stanfill
Yeah, it was super big fan of what he’s talking about because I like, he’s coming at it really from an intellectual perspective. Not someone said to me the other day, client, not the woo stuff. It’s kind of like Brene Brown. It’s like based on principles that are undeniable.
23:48
Tab Norris
Yeah. That’s awesome. All right. Am I up? I guess I’m down.
23:54
Tom Stanfill
No, I’m going to just keep going.
23:56
Tab Norris
Tab, I think, back and forth. I like it. All right, I’m going to share. This is my third book I just got into called Fans first named Jesse Cole. I’ve just almost finished that and just listen to a podcast with him as well last week. He’s the guy that started the Savannah Bananas, okay. Which is what he provided, semi pro baseball team. It’s not it’s like he’s created a whole new world. I mean, it’s like they’re entertainment. It’s basically like, to me, it’s almost like the Harlem Globetrotters. He basically took this baseball team in Savannah because that’s where I grew up, going to the Grayson Stadium down there.
24:47
Tom Stanfill
Watching bad force your hometown. I forgot to make that connection.
24:52
Tab Norris
And he came in and bought it. He was doing everything the normal way, and he was just losing money. I mean, tons of money. He wasn’t having any fun. He was just losing money.
25:02
Tom Stanfill
He’s like, well, Dang, the guys go play baseball. I lose money. Play baseball, I lose money. We’re going to have two hot dogs for the price of one.
25:12
Tab Norris
He said he made this simple mindset shift.
25:18
Tom Stanfill
Okay.
25:19
Tab Norris
I’m going to read it to you. This is from his book called Fans First. There’s something very wrong with what most people consider business as usual these days. Most organizations I talk to are focused on themselves. They all want to know the same thing. How can I grow? How can I sell more? How can I make more money? It’s the wrong conversation. Even worse, it’s driving the people who matter most to your brand, the people you should be engaging with your customers and your employees away. Obviously this feeds right into one of my clients sent me this book.
26:01
Tom Stanfill
Oh wow.
26:02
Tab Norris
He read it and his neighbor is Jesse Cole and he said, I read this tab. I had to mail it to you because it’s what you guys talk about. It’s about being other centered. I mean it’s all about being other centered. I love the way he’s and what struck me is I get being other centered, right? Obviously I’ve been talking about that a long time. What most people consider business as usual and that’s what this whole book has been stretching me on. It is so easy. I do that. How do I grow? How do we make more money as I go into a year?
26:38
Tom Stanfill
Right?
26:39
Tab Norris
I mean, I’ve done business as usual for a long time.
26:43
Tom Stanfill
This goes back to fear. It is fear drives. You got to go do things differently because what’s normal, what’s downstream is to do whatever is to think, okay, we got to grow. We got to do these things. This is how it works and this is how you supposed to run a company. There’s obviously some fundamentals to running companies that you need to focus on fundamentals of success that you can’t ignore. If wear the same clothes as everybody else and do the same things as everybody else, we’re not going to get ridiculed and we’ll be safe.
27:18
Tab Norris
That’s it.
27:19
Tom Stanfill
Get the results that everybody else gets, which we’re out of debt. I mean we got plenty of debt. We can’t retire. If you look at where the world we won’t have any time. We won’t have relationships with our family.
27:29
Tab Norris
It’s so true. It’s one of these things like for instance, everybody does it the same way. What he says is, it’s almost like they got to the point that they said we just started experimenting and we would experiment. The more you do that, you create a culture of experimentation. He goes, now we experiment every single day. They have, like, I think he said they have 20,000 people on a waiting list to buy season tickets now for this place. People come from all over the world and he said, we just mess up every day and now we’ve done it so long that we’ve moved past the fear. Because they just experiment. They’re like, how are we going to know that if we don’t try it?
28:29
Tom Stanfill
Give me an example of something they do that’s not business as usual. That’s way out of the box.
28:34
Tab Norris
Okay? They’ve figured out and talking to customers they don’t want to come to baseball games because they take too long. If it’s got to be under 2 hours. Okay? What they did is they experimented ways they could speed up the game. Here’s one of the ways they did it. If you hit a foul ball. If a fan catches it, the batter is out.
28:54
Tom Stanfill
So they changed the rule. They changed the rule.
28:57
Tab Norris
They have their own rule. So they’re out, batters out.
29:04
Tom Stanfill
That’s great.
29:06
Tab Norris
They had rain delays and the rain delay. It was always like a rain delay. Well gosh, people hung around there and so what they do is they’ve created an entire two hour event for rain delays. They’re prepared for a rain delay. A rain delay is like the greatest thing ever. Now they have an entire show or a rain delay. It’s those kind of thing and there’s all kind of good stuff in there. It’s just completely stretching.
29:35
Tom Stanfill
Don’t focus on what everybody does.
29:37
Tab Norris
That’s it.
29:38
Tom Stanfill
I love the fact that there’s a rule. They’re breaking the rules. Oh my God, you can’t do that. It’s a rule. Well, we just broke the rule.
29:49
Tab Norris
They brought a guy into hit from the stands one time and it was an ex major leaguer who was about 80 years old, and they had him come in a hit and he got a hit.
30:01
Tom Stanfill
No, he did.
30:03
Tab Norris
He had to go up against the regular playment. That guy had to bat with his opposite hand. I mean it’s just nuts. I love it.
30:12
Tom Stanfill
I love it. Obviously it’s still a feeder right into the pros.
30:15
Tab Norris
I mean it’s part of the system right now. Like I said. Now they’re like the Harlem Globetrotters.
30:21
Tom Stanfill
Okay.
30:22
Tab Norris
Now we’re a semi pro kind of thing. I don’t even know all the details on that.
30:29
Tom Stanfill
I love it. That’s great.
30:32
Tab Norris
It’s encouraging me to get out of the box, move past business as usual.
30:37
Tom Stanfill
Yeah. That reminded me of a quote that I wasn’t going to share, but I looked at the list and this is from Andy Stanley, one of my favorites. He said, selfishness leads to the loss of the very thing you are trying to save.
30:56
Tab Norris
That’s deep.
30:58
Tom Stanfill
Well, basically it’s like you’re selfish because you’re trying to take care of yourself.
31:03
Tab Norris
Yeah, right.
31:04
Tom Stanfill
It leads to the loss of the thing that you’re trying to save, which is yourself. In other words, being other centered. Right. Looking at the kind you focus on the things, you focus on the business because you’re trying to save your business. Right? You’re trying to save your trying to protect your success. You’re trying to grow your business. All the things that cause you that you’re trying to accomplish by being self centered, company centered, product centered, solution centered, all those things are because you’re trying to do something for yourself. That’s fine. We all think and feel that way, but being focused on that robs us of the very opportunity to get the things that we want. It’s like by focusing on what the fans want. Like what are the fans? Fans want a faster game. Okay, we’ll give you a faster game. One of my favorite things I always.
31:51
Tom Stanfill
Pay attention to people that are super successful and listen to our philosophy. I remember Martin with the lead singer for Colpl play, Chris Martin.
32:01
Tab Norris
Yeah.
32:02
Tom Stanfill
He talked about I forgot the part of the Tame. It’s when the people are walking out of the silhouettes the silhouette effect. Thank you. I forgot about it. Forgot the label. But he called it the silhouette effect. If he plays a song and he starts seeing people go out of the concert hall and go into the hall, he can see the people. Right. Because he knows if people are doing that, it’s not a good song. He adjusts his playlist based on what the people want to hear. I mean, it was another quote that I saw as I was going through it, bradley Cooper, he goes, Do I want to sing the song from the starsbourne at the Oscars? No, but it’s the song they want to hear.
32:53
Tab Norris
Yeah, it’s about them, not about me.
32:55
Tom Stanfill
It’s about them. These are the people. They’re successful because they get it. Love it. Good.
33:01
Tab Norris
All right, I guess I’m up you’re on three.
33:05
Tom Stanfill
Number three. Number three. I don’t know if I’ve shared this with you, but my mentor said this to me a couple of weeks ago.
33:14
Tab Norris
Okay.
33:15
Tom Stanfill
And it’s probably more than that. It’s probably a couple of months ago, and it really stuck with me. He said, what the heart wants, the will chooses. The mind justifies the guy’s name is John Richie.
33:29
Tab Norris
Okay, say it again.
33:30
Tom Stanfill
What the heart wants, the will chooses. And the mind justifies okay. Meaning what the heart really wants is what drives everything we do. We typically address the mind like they’re giving you these. Another way we say it sometimes is that emotions drive decisions and we support them with intellectual alibis. I think I got that from Dr. Rapai. Wrote a book about marketing, and he talked about emotional we make these emotional decisions, and we support them with intellectual alibi. Well, we have the debate at the intellectual level. When we try to change and influence somebody, we start to say, well, here’s why you shouldn’t do that. Here’s what you should be doing. Here’s what you should be thinking. Well, we got to go back to what the heart wants. The Heath brothers wrote a book about switch, and they talk about the elephant and the writer, and the elephant really is what the heart wants.
34:23
Tom Stanfill
It’s like the path that the elephant is walking on. The writer fights with the elephant and can try to change this path, and it can for but the elephant always wins, right? The elephant is what we really want. It’s the direction we’re really moving in. It’s what we really believe we think is what’s best for us. It’s if we really think we’re going to be happy, our heart really believes we’re going to be most successful and happy. If we make a lot of money, that’s what we’re going to pursue, we may say something different.
34:53
Tab Norris
Yeah.
34:55
Tom Stanfill
It was such a reminder to me. One is to figure out what my heart really wants, because I think I have a lot of intellectual conversations with myself about, well, that’s not the right thing. Being honest, like, we’ve had these conversations about what to do with our business.
35:09
Tab Norris
Right.
35:10
Tom Stanfill
What are we going to do with our business? What do we really want? I tend to think about what’s the right answer to that question?
35:17
Tab Norris
Right.
35:17
Tom Stanfill
What’s the right answer to the question of, well, what should you do with your money? Or should you make money? Or what should you pursue? I tend to give the answer that you’re supposed to give. Well, what does my heart really want? If I don’t really pull the layers back and be honest with myself, I can’t change my behavior. By the way, that’s also true for people that we’re trying to influence. We tend to focus on what they say, their intellectual response to it, versus what do they really want? If we can get them to tell us what they really want, whether we’re talking to employees or customers or prospects, we can’t change it. I just found that very profound.
35:58
Tab Norris
Love it. John Ritchie.
35:59
Tom Stanfill
Love you. Bringing John Richie group. He runs an order that’s called the Venture Group.
36:05
Tab Norris
All right, well, I’m bringing it on home. This is.
36:07
Tom Stanfill
Bring it on home. I think it’s probably time to maybe close it out with this one. I don’t know, because you have been.
36:12
Tab Norris
Sprinkling in, like, multiple I’ve thrown, by the way. I’ve watched you and you do it us.
36:18
Tom Stanfill
I got one more, though. I got one more. Okay. That’s a short one.
36:22
Tab Norris
Just being a little hogger. All right. This is from a quote from a Netflix documentary.
36:29
Tom Stanfill
Oh, I love Netflix documentary. This the one about Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee?
36:36
Tab Norris
No, that’s a different quote from a different time.
36:39
Tom Stanfill
Okay.
36:39
Tab Norris
This is David Foster. Oh, I saw that document off the record. Did you see it? Did you watch it?
36:47
Tom Stanfill
I watched this documentary on David Foster, but I don’t know if it was off the record.
36:51
Tab Norris
Well, this was the one on prime, not Netflix. I think this was prime, but interesting. I mean, of course I love music like you do, and it was fascinating just going through all the things he’s produced. I mean, it’s like, probably the most incredible he’s the greatest producer of all time.
37:09
Tom Stanfill
I don’t know. You could maybe argue that Quincy Jones might beat him.
37:13
Tab Norris
Well, it’s interesting you should say Quincy Jones, because this is my quote from him, and it was interaction that he had with Quincy Jones.
37:22
Tom Stanfill
Okay.
37:23
Tab Norris
Isn’t that interesting?
37:24
Tom Stanfill
Yeah.
37:25
Tab Norris
And here’s the quote. It’s kind of an unusual one, but he said, I recorded it. I pulled it back up yesterday, and I wrote down what he said. He said, here’s the deal. He goes, I try to be great every day. He goes, I learned that from my friend Quincy Jones, which is interesting. When I handed him an album, I guess some music for an album. I said, no, I guess it was an album. He said, Now, Quincy, now, don’t listen to track two. It’s not very good. Track seven trash. You don’t want to waste your time on track seven, but listen to track four. It’s really good. He grabbed my music and he said, David, what does this say right here? He’s pointing to the music, and it says, Produced by David Foster. He said, Listen, David, you give me something with your name on it, and you make excuses for it.
38:28
Tom Stanfill
Wow.
38:29
Tab Norris
David said, and since that day, I have never, ever not tried to be great every day because good is the enemy of great.
38:40
Tom Stanfill
Wow.
38:41
Tab Norris
I just like, man, that was powerful. I wanted to finish with that one because I just watched that two days ago, and I heard that two days ago, and you brought this up, and I thought, I got the great finishing quote for me. Isn’t that awesome?
38:58
Tom Stanfill
There’s so much to that because you turn in crappy work, right? You just kind of mail it in because you’re like, I just do my best. And it could because of fear. Like, if I don’t give you my best work, right, then you can’t critique me because I got it out.
39:17
Tab Norris
Yeah, but it can be just laziness, too. Like, my daughter I shared this with my daughter last night. She pulled out a paper she was reading, a paper she wrote. I’m like, this is garbage. You’re really going to put your name on that? She’s like, what do you mean? I think it’s okay. I said that’s garbage. And she goes, yeah, you’re right. And I read her this quote. It’s awesome. And that was just laziness.
39:41
Tom Stanfill
I’m just saying it could be. There are reasons, right? Why? The unintended consequences that we walk away and we say, that’s who I am. Yes, I’m a person who turns in crappy work. I remember asking my son that my fourth son, he mowed the yard. He just kind of mowed the yard. I’m like, how do I motivate him to do his best? I said, okay, you mowed the yard. Give it a score, one to ten. He goes five. I said, Are you a five?
40:13
Tab Norris
That’s good.
40:14
Tom Stanfill
He goes, no, I’m not a five. I said, well, you mow the yard like that, you’re going to walk away from things you do like that, and you’re going to think you’re a five. It’s like, that becomes who you are. I’m the guy that I’m the guy or the woman that doesn’t really or you do the opposite. You’re like, I’m the person who always gives it. I love that quote, man. I love the part about it. Is that your name?
40:41
Tab Norris
Yeah, exactly. What does that say right there? David Foster.
40:45
Tom Stanfill
Which, by the way, I think that’s the reason that I have fear when I do certain things, when my name is associated with it, because I’m putting my name on it. My identity is driven by, this is who I am. If I go out and fail, then I am no longer who I want to be, and it’s too important to me. There’s a flip side of that, is that you do your best and then you let it go and your identity isn’t tied to your work.
41:16
Tab Norris
Yeah.
41:19
Tom Stanfill
Your identity side your commitment to do things with excellence.
41:23
Tab Norris
Right. Well, I didn’t share this quote, but I’m going to do Tom. I’m going to squeeze it anyway. Michael Jordan, who was pretty successful I’ve heard of him. I’ve heard of him.
41:32
Tom Stanfill
Was he a musician?
41:33
Tab Norris
Yeah, he was a musician that played basketball.
41:35
Tom Stanfill
Okay.
41:36
Tab Norris
He said, I can accept failure. Everyone fails at something, but I can’t accept not trying. I mean, it’s just so simple. But that’s exactly what you’re saying. We just got a failure is okay.
41:48
Tom Stanfill
All right, I’m going to close this out with this tab.
41:51
Tab Norris
Shut us down.
41:53
Tom Stanfill
This is by Anne Lamont. If you’ve never read anything by Anne Lamont, I have not. She’s an incredible writer.
42:02
Tab Norris
Anne Lamont.
42:03
Tom Stanfill
Anne Lamont. L-A-M-O-N-T. She wrote Bird by Bird, which is about her process for writing. She just threw out so many great books, but almost every percentage, you’re like, wow, that was gold. When I looked through all my quotes, I had, like, eight by her. One I pulled because I think it’s something that I’ve been chewing on a lot lately, and I think it’s entered into a lot of conversations with all that’s happened with COVID and politics and just the way that our conversations are occurring now and how people communicate and what they believe and what they don’t believe. She said this because if you tell the truth, it turns out to be universal. The thing that grabbed me about that is if I tell the truth, everybody, it resonates with everybody. And I found that to be true. When I just speak truth, I don’t associate it with a movement or religious thing or us versus them or it’s not about my team versus your team or my social group or who I thought leader.
43:21
Tom Stanfill
It’s just the truth. I think we all get caught up in the thought of the day, like, well, this is what everybody’s saying, or, this is the direct it’s happening in business. AI is a thing, and here’s how it’s going to change how sales is happening, and here’s what we need to be doing now. Here’s the latest thought leader, and here’s the latest religious leader. Here’s the latest political leader, and everybody just starts to move around based on their perception of that person. Right. Or perception of what we believe. Is that our team? Does our team believe that? Versus just is it true? What’s true is it timeless principle. I also think not only does that affect how we have conversations with people about certain important issues, I also think it’s so critical when you talk about selling and influence, like, oh, yeah, just speak the truth.
44:24
Tom Stanfill
Like, it’s like if you go into a prospect and say, why should we do this? Do you tell them the truth? It will resonate. Versus I don’t know. My manager told me to tell you this, and he said that we do these things and that’s why you should buy from us. I don’t really get that. They’re like, well, now they told me to say this. If you know what’s true, it’s powerful. That’s where my confidence comes from. When I sell, what I sell is I always just come back to, look, this is what works. How do I know that it’s because I’ve watched it happen over and over again. If you want this to happen, this is what you need to do this is the truth. It’s not like when we sell this, you need to buy it. Oh, by the way, I can help you do that.
45:13
Tom Stanfill
This is how we’ve structured our company, because this is what works. And then I speak with confidence. I can speak with principals, and not because I’m better or worse. It’s just because I’m speaking true.
45:24
Tab Norris
Right. Awesome.
45:27
Tom Stanfill
Love it.
45:27
Tab Norris
Well, this was great. I love this when I learn I know it’s a good podcast. When I’m sitting here writing notes and jotting things.
45:35
Tom Stanfill
I didn’t remember you writing a lot of notes, Tab. I couldn’t see it.
45:39
Tab Norris
Yeah, you just couldn’t see it.
45:42
Tom Stanfill
Notes. Beautiful. Well, wonderful, my friend. Well, I love your quotes. I was extremely motivational. Maybe we should wrap up the year with our favorite travel locations or something fun. Taking a trip for 2023. Consider these locations because we are travel. We are into travel. We got to click on our last state.
46:06
Tab Norris
I know.
46:09
Tom Stanfill
For those of us in our vast list of guys probably doesn’t know that Tab and I’ve been to 49 of the 50 states, and we both have to click off Alaska. Right? You haven’t been to Alaska.
46:20
Tab Norris
That’s what’s so crazy is we didn’t plan this. No, it just happened to work out that we just haven’t there’s not a lot of business in Alaska. We love Hawaii for fun.
46:36
Tom Stanfill
Yeah, but the point being, we’ve traveled a lot. We need to share some of our travel recommendations on a podcast.
46:45
Tab Norris
I think so. I love it.
46:47
Tom Stanfill
Got a prep for that. All right, my friend. Well, good to see you. Thanks to our listeners for joining us for another episode of Sales with ASLAN.. As always, we love your feedback. We can’t get better without your feedback, so tell us how we’re doing. If you also like the podcast, let us know. It’s incredibly important to help other people find us and communicate that we are worth listening to, so we appreciate the support tab. Good to see you, my friend. Thanks again for joining us for another episode of SALES with ASLAN.
