Ep. 236: Overcoming Fear and Leading with Gratitude Featuring John Cerqueira, Pt.2

In this episode of Sales with ASLAN, Tom Stanfill and Tab Norris welcome back one of their most impactful guests, longtime friend and ASLAN Vice President of Enterprise John Cerqueria for part two of this impactful series. 

After spending 15 years driving sales transformation and his traumatic experience in the Twin Towers on 9/11, John Cerquiera became a student of unlocking barriers to change and performance, and of developing a mindset that brings us fulfillment.

In part two of this discussion, Tom Tab and John talk about shifting from scarcity thinking to gratitude-based approaches. The group examined how serving others and managing fear through positive visualization can lead to improved emotional states and better outcomes in various aspects of life, including sales and personal relationships.

What unfolded was one of the most candid and insightful conversations we have had on the podcast, blending neuroscience, emotional intelligence, practical psychology, and timeless principles of Other-Centered® selling.

Listen to the 51 minute conversation here:

Embracing an Abundance Mindset 

High performance is often discussed in terms of skills, strategies, and discipline. What gets less attention is mindset, specifically how fear, control, and scarcity quietly undermine results.

In a recent conversation, Tom, John, and Tab explored abundance as part of a broader discussion on performance and mindset. What emerged was a practical, experience-based look at why abundance is not just a feel-good concept, but a prerequisite for sustained performance and meaningful connection.

Scarcity Versus Abundance

An abundance mindset begins with optimism about the future and a willingness to let go of control. Scarcity, by contrast, is rooted in fear, attachment to outcomes, and the belief that resources, opportunities, or validation are limited.

John explained that scarcity narrows focus and triggers survival instincts. When people feel threatened, they become self-protective, emotionally reactive, and less able to connect with others. Abundance creates the opposite effect. It allows people to stay open, curious, and service-oriented, even in the face of uncertainty.

Tab shared how intentionally  "practicing gratitude helped reduce stress and open doors I had not anticipated. Letting go of outcome attachment did not lower standards; it increased clarity and resilience."

Fear and Peak Performance

The group discussed the difference between operating in flow and feeling disconnected or anxious in challenging situations. Fear pulls attention inward, focusing on personal safety and validation. This self-centered focus makes it nearly impossible to serve others effectively.

Before people can connect, lead, or sell well, they must first regulate fear. Gratitude plays a key role here. By shifting attention to what is already present and working, individuals regain access to executive function and emotional control.

Tom said it well,  

" Many people know the right actions to take, but fear prevents execution. Performance does not break down because of ignorance, but because emotions go unmanaged."

Gratitude as a Performance Tool

Gratitude is often framed as a personal habit. In reality, it is a performance accelerator. John explained that gratitude signals safety to the brain, reducing fear and allowing higher-level thinking to return.

This shift enables people to detach from outcomes, focus on what they can control, and show up with genuine service. Tab described using gratitude in the moment to interrupt fear, regain clarity, and make better decisions under pressure.

Practiced consistently, gratitude moves individuals from scarcity to abundance, from control to contribution.

Abundance, Friction, and Growth

An abundance mindset does not eliminate challenges. In fact, the group discussed how a frictionless existence can lead to emotional atrophy. Growth requires resistance.

Using a curling analogy, John explained how sweeping reduces unnecessary friction so energy is applied where it matters most. In life and work, attachment and unmet expectations create resentment and damage relationships. Abundance shifts the focus from control to intention, from expectation to gratitude.

Tom shared how this perspective has reshaped family relationships, while Tab noted that abundance often shows up unevenly across different areas of life, requiring ongoing awareness and practice.

Positive Focus and Intentional Outcomes

Focusing on positive outcomes rather than feared ones changes behavior. John compared it to driving. People go where they look. Those fixated on danger become tense and reactive, while those focused ahead move with confidence.

Setting clear intentions and defining what success actually means helps activate focus and alignment. Visualization is not about forcing outcomes, but about behaving consistently with desired values and goals.

Service Over Control, Especially in Sales

The conversation also turned to sales and leadership. John emphasized the importance of shifting from a control-oriented approach to a service-oriented one. When sellers focus on validation or outcomes, desperation shows up. When they focus on serving the client’s best interest, trust follows.

Iteration, patience, and clarity of intent outperform constant checking, chasing, or forcing momentum. Authentic service, paired with emotional regulation, creates space for better decisions on both sides of the conversation.

Abundance as a Daily Practice

Abundance is not a one time mindset shift. It is a daily practice of self regulation, reflection, and ownership. John emphasized the importance of finding personal methods that support this work, whether through reading, podcasts, or intentional habits.

Owning mistakes, acknowledging limitations, and practicing empathy all reinforce abundance by reducing fear and strengthening connection.

At its core, abundance is not about having more. It is about showing up differently. With gratitude instead of fear, service instead of control, and intention instead of attachment.

That shift changes performance, relationships, and results.