Welcome to SALES with ASLAN, a weekly podcast hosted by ASLAN Co-founders Tom Stanfill and Tab Norris, geared at helping sales professionals and sales leaders eliminate the hard sell. At the end of the day, we believe that selling is serving. ASLAN helps sellers make the shift from a ‘typical’ sales approach, to one that makes us more influential because we embrace the truth that the customer’s receptivity is more important than your value prop or message.

In this thought-provoking episode of Sales With Aslan, Dr. Randy Ross joins Tab Norris and Tom Stanfill to dive into his latest book, Make Life Good. They explore powerful themes like success vs. fulfillment, purpose-driven leadership, and why true satisfaction comes from serving others. Dr. Ross challenges us to go beyond self-interest and focus on making a positive impact, sharing insights on how small acts of kindness can transform both life and business.

Tune in for a conversation that will inspire you to find your purpose, lead with impact, and make life truly meaningful.

You can find Dr. Randy Ross and his many resources here (including how to make a purpose statement). 

#PurposeDriven #Leadership #SalesWithASLAN #MakeLifeGood #ServeOthers

The goal of these interviews is to spotlight various experts in the world of sales and sales leadership – sharing informational stories, techniques, and expert interviews on the sales topics you care about.

The following are notes from EP. 209 More than Success: Selling and Leading With Purpose  

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00:13
Tom Stanfill
Doctor Randy Ross. Welcome back to the studio, my friends. Good to have you back.

00:19
Dr. Randy Ross
Tom Tab. It's always good to hang out with you guys. I like doing it virtually, but we got to do it in person more.

00:26
Tom Stanfill
Yeah, I agree. I know we need to. So for those of us who don't. Those of you. I can't believe anybody doesn't know you are Randy. But for those of you who missed our first podcast with you, which was about. Almost a year ago, we talked about your. Your. I guess your. It's not your latest book because you just came out with a new book, but your previous book, Remarkable, which was an incredible success. I'm sure it's still a success. If you didn't hear that podcast, you got to check it out. It was. It was. It was remarkable.

00:56
Tab Norris
Remarkable.

00:56
Dr. Randy Ross
There you go. I like being a remarkable leader, a.

00:59
Tom Stanfill
Remarkable person, building remarkable culture, organization. It's a great book. I had actually read it before I met you and. And had you on the podcast, so I didn't even. So something that was already on my bookshelf, but you got to check that book out. But we're excited about your new book. Your latest. How long is this? This book's been out?

01:18
Dr. Randy Ross
Well, this last book. Yeah. Make Life in August. Make Life Good. Okay. When we talked about Remarkable, that was the third edition.

01:28
Tom Stanfill
Okay. That's okay.

01:30
Dr. Randy Ross
So that's why were hot on that trail. But it came. A third edition of the book came out in April, and we followed up with this book in August.

01:38
Tom Stanfill
Awesome. Okay. Well, we both read it. Make Life Good, A soul stirring parable about what really matters. And it. Is that the accuracy. The title is accurate. Yeah, I know. You. You. You finished it, as you said last night, and you said it was amazing.

01:57
Tab Norris
Yeah, it really was. I mean, it was just a. It was a very creative way to, you know, kind of spark thoughts about what really matters and what. What kind of what life is all about. I mean, that's what I liked about it. It was just a creative way to. To kind of bubble that to the surface. Randy. I thought it was awesome.

02:17
Dr. Randy Ross
I appreciate that. Thank you for the. The kudos.

02:20
Tom Stanfill
I love the start of the book with. So before we get into that, because I could just. I could just all of a sudden dive into it because I loved it. I think it is such a needed encouragement to live life well. My favorite quote of the book and kind of the way I think about it is you talk about getting rich versus being rich.

02:40
Tab Norris
Yeah.

02:40
Tom Stanfill
And I love that. So it's all about Being rich by having purpose and meaning and fulfillment in what you do. So, but without stealing your thunder, tell us a little bit more about the book, the sort of the genesis of the book, what the book's about, and then we'll unpack it.

02:55
Dr. Randy Ross
Well, sounds good. As far as just why I wrote the book, obviously, in my work, I travel. I get a chance to speak to a lot of executives across the country. And it never ceases to amaze me how many wildly successful people, according to the world's standards, are still struggling personally with. With finding meaning, fulfillment, passion in what they do. Because if you think about it, you know, life is far more than just what you achieve. The accolades that you amass, your acquisitions, you know, that the whole bumper sticker who. He who dies with the most toys wins is not. Is not true, you know? Yeah, and we know that. And so what I really wanted to do was to write a book that would encourage people to move from success to significance.

03:49
Dr. Randy Ross
When I say success, I mean success according to the world's view. Because I think we need a new worldview, to be candid, to your point. It's about being rich in good deeds, being rich in contributing back, giving credence to this whole idea of creating movements of good in the world.

04:12
Tom Stanfill
Yeah.

04:12
Dr. Randy Ross
To change the world for good in. In double entendre. Right.

04:18
Tom Stanfill
Yeah.

04:19
Dr. Randy Ross
Change the world permanently by moving in the positive direction, but also do good in the world. And it's interesting because it's a. It's a challenge. The book is a challenge not only on a. On a personal level, but on a corporate level as well, because the full title of the book issue, made a Good Living now make life Good.

04:41
Tom Stanfill
Yeah.

04:42
Dr. Randy Ross
And so that's the tie in. And I just wanted to help people answer what I believe is the most important question of life. And that's why do you do what you do? Which is the question that the whole book opened with.

04:55
Tom Stanfill
Yeah, I love that. That was very creative. I'm not going to spoil it. But, yeah, I love. I love the creative opening. So you said you travel around, which I do the same. Right. We work with all kinds of organizations and people, and there does seem to be a disconnect between the success or what we're chasing, even if we don't have it yet, and the fulfillment we seek. But how do. Why can't we get out of that sort of trap? What's keeping us from finding purpose? What's the big barrier? You know, like, could we believe the lie? Is it just. We really believe it and we just think if we chase it harder, we'll eventually get it.

05:41
Dr. Randy Ross
Well, I think we're totally indoctrinated. I mean, from an early age, what are you told? You told, make good grades in school so that you can get to the college of your choice. So that when you get to the college of your choice, you can excel and do really well in your academics. And by the way, everybody has to go to college. Right? Or that's what we used to. That's what we used to say. And now our traits are suffering.

06:02
Tab Norris
Exactly.

06:02
Dr. Randy Ross
We used to say that. And then success is defined by getting the best job that you possibly can. When the job fair comes, your junior or senior year, you land a big job, pays a lot of money, and then you work really hard to retire as early as you possibly can. And we call that success. And the reality is fulfillment and meaning in life. I've spoken to so many senior leaders who have been successful. They retire and then they're bored.

06:32
Tom Stanfill
Yeah, right.

06:33
Dr. Randy Ross
Because they have no meaning. They have no purpose. They have nothing to live for. They're not making a contribution to society. They're not leaving a positive wake in the world. And after you can only go fishing so often and play so many rounds of golf before you get bored, and they want to get back into the game to do something worthwhile.

06:51
Tab Norris
Right.

06:52
Dr. Randy Ross
And so this whole idea of amassing as much as you can so that you can retire to the lake house and then not have to do anything does not create a sense of fulfillment and meaning in life. And I just wanted to cause people to reflect on the simple idea that you've been put on this planet for a purpose. And you guys, we've talked before in this, resonated throughout. Remarkable. And actually rings true in many of my books. The foundational principles are based upon philosophy, a strain of philosophy called axiology. And one of the basic principles of axiology is what we call the maximum viability, which just simply says that every life has purpose. Well, if that's true, then meaning begins in discovering what your purpose actually is.

07:46
Dr. Randy Ross
And people who only have the purpose to make as much money as they possibly can typically are not the happiest people I know.

07:53
Tom Stanfill
Right. Yeah. Yeah, go ahead, Tab.

07:57
Dr. Randy Ross
Well, I was just.

07:58
Tab Norris
It was funny. I was just talking to a friend, Tom, a friend of ours, who lived in Destin for 20 years.

08:06
Tom Stanfill
Okay.

08:07
Tab Norris
And he said, if you want to. Really? If he said, I'll just tell you, I'm around everybody who did what you just said, Randy, They. They all worked really hard. They finally got. They got the condo, and they're, you know, whatever. And he said, they're the most miserable people I've ever been around in my life. And it's exactly what you're saying. And he said, it's just staggering. And they're everywhere.

08:31
Dr. Randy Ross
Well. And, you know, then you have a successful career, you move to the coast of Florida, and then you get wiped out by a hurricane.

08:38
Tab Norris
Yeah, we didn't even talk about that part.

08:40
Tom Stanfill
Yeah, Yeah, I didn't even talk about that part. Yeah, yeah, that's.

08:44
Dr. Randy Ross
Yeah.

08:45
Tom Stanfill
But that doesn't get. They get. There's a core. There is a core belief, though, that I think that we have to unpack. Because even, you know, you're talking about people who are already successful. Right. And they realize. Okay, so then they're not. Well, I think it's harder for people who think it's harder for people to believe that because they're chasing it and they're going, like, I don't like the way it feels right now. I'm struggling. Right. I feel pressure at work to hit my number or to be successful, because if I'm not, I can't pay the bills. I gotta save for college. I gotta do all these things. So, no, really, the answer is more resources. Right. And so you're saying, well, you know, the people that get the resources and then finally retire, they're like, well, that's all. There's nothing there.

09:28
Tom Stanfill
It's like, I'm now just bored. And so. And so how do we talk to the person who sort of. Yeah. But, you know, it certainly would make life a lot easier right now. Maybe my spouse could quit working. Maybe we could have more margin, all those things. It's hard to believe that more resources and the fighting for that isn't what it's all about. Any messages for that person who maybe is lower on the Maslow hierarchy? Yeah, I'm just trying to. I'm just trying to pay the mortgage.

10:04
Dr. Randy Ross
That's a great segue, Tom, because first, let me just say this. The happiest times of my life have actually been the times that I was struggling and had to persevere to get through a challenging situation because there was meaning and purpose in what I was doing.

10:26
Tom Stanfill
Yeah.

10:26
Dr. Randy Ross
So the meaning came through the challenge. It wasn't through the acquisition or crossing the finish line. It was in the challenge itself. It was running the race. But now let me go, because you brought him up. Let's talk about Maslow for just a moment.

10:40
Tom Stanfill
Yeah.

10:40
Dr. Randy Ross
Because this is kind of a Fun philosophy.

10:42
Tom Stanfill
Is it? Billy Maslow.

10:45
Dr. Randy Ross
Abraham.

10:46
Tom Stanfill
Abraham.

10:49
Dr. Randy Ross
Yeah.

10:50
Tom Stanfill
Okay.

10:51
Dr. Randy Ross
Yeah. So Abe had this five tier hierarchy of needs is what he called it, right. And it started off at the lower level with physiological needs. In other words, unless you have food, shelter, clothing, basic needs of life met, it's hard to ascend to higher levels of consciousness.

11:08
Tom Stanfill
Right?

11:08
Dr. Randy Ross
It is explanation of human motivational behavior. But beyond those basic needs, the second tier was safe. You have to have security, safety in your job, in your housing, whatever it may be. You have to have a sense of security.

11:22
Tom Stanfill
Right.

11:23
Dr. Randy Ross
Then self esteem after actually love and belonging was next. And then self esteem. And the fifth tier, as many people will recall from their, you know, psychology 101 class.

11:35
Tom Stanfill
Right.

11:35
Dr. Randy Ross
Was self actualization, which meant you become the best that you're meant to be. You fulfilled your potential. What's interesting is that later in life he was challenged. And he was challenged by a colleague of his by the name of Robert and Robert. They both taught together in the school of Cuernavaca University of Mexico in Cuernamaca. Abraham Maslow and Robert Hartman were having dinner together with at night. And over a glass of brandy after dinner, Hartman turned to Abe and he goes, so Abe, tell me about the hierarchy of needs, self transcendence. And he explained it. And he goes, yeah, you got it. It's fulfilling your potential. And Hartman looked back at him and said, so what?

12:26
Tab Norris
I feel my potential.

12:28
Dr. Randy Ross
So what if you fulfill your potential, you become all that you're meant to be. What, what good have you done? Yeah, you know, so. So you become successful. It's all about you. You've amassed all of this, you know, worldly stuff, but so what? What good have you done? And man, it messed Abraham Maslow up. And so most people don't know this. You can do it's readily available. But in the latter years of his life, he expanded the hierarchy of needs from 5 to 8.

12:59
Tom Stanfill
Yeah, I saw that in the book. I thought that was great. I was so happy you did that.

13:03
Dr. Randy Ross
Yeah. And so he added cognitive and aesthetic means of self actualization. He put self transcendence, which meant that life is not full. Life isn't complete until you've given back to the world.

13:19
Tab Norris
Right.

13:20
Dr. Randy Ross
In other words, weren't put here just to breathe this air and consume the resources of the planet. But the real purpose were put here is to make life better for others. Yeah, to give back. Now here's where it gets really interesting. In his whole theory, he had this meta Persona which meant that you don't have to ascend through all of those fears, to get to self transcendence and find meaning and fulfillment and satisfaction and purpose in life. And he would use, you know, individuals that have fallen into that category of matter Persona are individuals like Mother Teresa.

14:03
Tab Norris
Right.

14:05
Dr. Randy Ross
They barely had food, shelter and clothing.

14:07
Tom Stanfill
Yeah.

14:08
Dr. Randy Ross
She had no sense of security. She did have a community. Her self esteem was fine, but. But she gave it the highest level even though all of the other needs in her life were not met. So you're asking the question tomorrow.

14:21
Tom Stanfill
Yeah.

14:21
Dr. Randy Ross
What about people who are young in their career or they're struggling to get by? It has nothing to do with ascending through those levels in a progressive order. It has to do with tapping into that idea of self transcendence and being able to understand that even as you grow, even if you're struggling to survive, you can still be significant in what you're doing and how you're approaching life. And. And those early years of struggle were some of the most rich, fulfilling, rewarding times. As I look back on it now in my older years.

14:57
Tom Stanfill
Yeah.

14:58
Dr. Randy Ross
And I think back and go, wow, those were good days because were going beyond ourselves to give to others.

15:05
Tom Stanfill
Yeah. It's funny, I think about my stress now, my temptation to stress. Like a battle. I fight with stress and anxiety now. I think it's higher than when I had very little resources because I was so connected to my purpose. I was so connected to. My number one role is to raise my children. I had four children. Yeah. And I. No matter what was happening in the world and what was happening in finances, I could do that well. I could come home and be present and insulate them from whatever was happening in my world and say, look and just be with them. And I actually had less trust and more meaning and purpose, I think in that stage. Or I don't know if I could say more, but it was definitely.

15:48
Tom Stanfill
It was definitely so clear to me because were all working together for the same common goal and I felt so alive. I don't know, Tab, did you feel that way? Because I know you and I kind of were raising our kids the same when were. We were started as almost 30 years ago.

16:04
Tab Norris
Yeah. I totally felt that way. And I remember along those lines, I was doing something that was one of my part of my purpose, but was raising my children to be men and women of God and to understand that they're most fulfilled when they serve. And so one of my dreams was to take all of my entire family of five on a mission trip together. And so went and Served in Nicaragua together. And it was one of the. But what came out of that was because it was hard getting there and you know, didn't really have the money to do. You know, it was all those things, you know, all the reasons that you're not going to do it. And then you get there and you realize this is so that was some of the great.

16:49
Tab Norris
It was probably one of the best memories I have with my family. And were miserable and were. It was uncomfortable and it was hard.

16:56
Tom Stanfill
Yeah.

16:56
Tab Norris
And you think about all the incredible vacation. But it was because it was connected to the purpose. It was connected to that purpose.

17:03
Tom Stanfill
A deeper thing. Yeah. Just the beach vacations are fun.

17:07
Dr. Randy Ross
Yeah.

17:08
Tom Stanfill
But there's something hollow about just pleasure, like just seeking pleasure. And I say this when I lead workshops is when I talk about being other centered and we always say tab said this. We are. You're more successful and you're more fulfilled when you serve. Now that we say that to salespeople and sales leaders because we're all about serving our customers and you're going to be more successful. That doesn't mean you're lazy. It doesn't mean you just are passive. It just, it means you lead them to better solutions. And because you're all about them, they're going to be. They're going to listen to you, they're going to open up, they're going to follow your lead because you're leading them to the place that helps them. So in sales that's an easy thing to say but it's also deeper than that because were created to serve.

17:47
Tom Stanfill
It's in our DNA. And when we do something different than that, we're at odds with ourselves. We're with odds with how were created. It's like if you've ever just been in a place where it's just all selfish. I remember, I remember being. I remember this specifically when I was a kid and I would be self consumed. Maybe I was playing sports and I would just. And maybe I had a good game and I was, you know, a 9 year old or 10 or 12 year old kid. I'm like, look at me. And I hated myself. And then would people would discipline me in a positive way. I felt life was in order again. I was back into parents. I think I remember this being a parent. It's like I felt better. Like it's not about me anymore. It's just something off.

18:27
Tom Stanfill
I obviously I'm not. You can explain it better than I can, Randy, but I love this message.

18:34
Dr. Randy Ross
No, you're. You're spot on, Tom, because it's interesting, if you ask psychologists, they will tell you that when they have a patient in their office, they can tell. They can predict oftentimes how depressed someone is or how much they tend to lean toward depression by the number of times they refer to themselves.

18:57
Tom Stanfill
Oh, wow, that's wild.

18:59
Dr. Randy Ross
In other words, the more they say I me, my, the more prone they are to depression because their focus is completely myopic. It's on their own circumstances where. As opposed to focused on other people. Two stories that kind of. You asked about the genesis of the book. They're two personal stories of mine that I think either consciously or subconsciously propelled me to write this book. And one of them goes all the way back to my. My high school experience when I was a junior in high school. This is going to sound very similar to what you just talked about, Tom, but my family and I. My dad was a pastor. He pastored a church out in a little corner of New Mexico, the southeast corner of New Mexico. And it was a small community. And I was a junior in high school, played football.

19:45
Dr. Randy Ross
I was a big man on campus. I was going to be the starting quarterback, you know, all that good stuff. And I was. I was on top of the world. I was the king of my domain. And all of a sudden, he took a pastorate in a town called Plano, Texas. And Plano was a much bigger football program, a much larger school. Literally, we had a thousand people in my senior class. Oh, just in the senior. Just in the college.

20:10
Tom Stanfill
That's a talking.

20:11
Dr. Randy Ross
You're talking, you know, 5A schools and taxes. And so we moved from this little po dunk town where I was big man on campus. And now I'm thrown into this massive senior high school. I'm struggling to make the football team. I don't have any friends. I'm sitting by myself at lunch. You know, we're three weeks into this experience in this new location, and I go home and I just break down. I start crying. I fall on my bed and I'm crying. My dad comes in the room. He goes, what's wrong? I said, I hate it. I hate it here. I don't have friends. I'm struggling to even be a backup quarterback on jv, you know, much less starting on varsity. But my whole world is falling apart. And my dad, in his wise way, he said this.

20:58
Dr. Randy Ross
He said, the reason you're so miserable is because you're making this all about you.

21:04
Tab Norris
That's a. That was good.

21:05
Dr. Randy Ross
Advice, Challenge you. He said, I'm going to challenge you to do something. And I wipe the tears away. And I said, okay, what? Because I was defiant, you know, what do you have for me?

21:15
Tom Stanfill
Yeah, sure, dad.

21:17
Dr. Randy Ross
Yeah, that's right. You lay your wisdom on me.

21:20
Tom Stanfill
Yeah.

21:20
Dr. Randy Ross
I'm a real.

21:20
Tom Stanfill
You don't understand. You've never been a teenager.

21:23
Dr. Randy Ross
That's right. And he said, I want you to go to school tomorrow. And I've said. He said, I want you to be alert and aware of all the people around you and I want you to look for other people that you can do an act of kindness for. Somebody drops their books in the hallway, help them pick it up. Somebody needs a door open to open it for them. Somebody sitting by themselves at lunch, go sit with them, you know, but look for people that you can help and just do one act of random kindness every day for some person every day. See what happens. Well, what happened was I started doing that and it was so much fun. It wasn't one act of random kindness. It turned into 2 and 3 and 4 and 5 acts of kindness every day. Right.

22:03
Dr. Randy Ross
Just being aware and focused on other people rather than focused on myself.

22:08
Tom Stanfill
Yeah.

22:09
Dr. Randy Ross
And I don't say this in a self aggrandizing sort of way, but I want you to see the impact of it. So I go from being this no name person on campus who nobody knew in six months, ran for student body president and missed it by five votes among my class of a thousand people. And I lost to Brian, who had been. He'd grown up in the system and knew everybody his entire life.

22:30
Tom Stanfill
Wow.

22:30
Dr. Randy Ross
Right?

22:31
Tom Stanfill
Yeah. Right.

22:32
Dr. Randy Ross
In my senior year, I was voted a class favorite. And again, I don't say that because kudos to me, but it's kudos to my dad.

22:41
Tom Stanfill
Right. Yeah.

22:42
Dr. Randy Ross
Who forced me to stop looking at myself and place my emphasis on other people. And as I serve other people, it was interesting the response that they had toward me. And it's exactly what you're talking about. Same thing happens in sales. You know, it's not about you. It's about how you can serve other people and what can you do to make their life better. That's where the positive wake begins. That's how you impact the world in a positive way.

23:12
Tom Stanfill
Yeah. Yeah. It's what drives. And here's the thing we always say, and in sales training, motive is transparent. Yeah. When you're walking around going, like me, what can you do for me? I need a commission. You know, it's all about me. People smell that. It's like you have commission breath. People know it. And so that's not an effective way. But we have this ministry mindset or purpose where our goal is to serve other people, what we call be other centered, and we're genuine about it. You know, we. I mean, in sales, you're going to find you're going to quickly realize you can't help them and you move on. So you don't waste time or you're going to figure out how you can serve them and they're going to feel that, they're going to know that, and then it becomes a positive relationship.

23:55
Tom Stanfill
And just like it happened in your high school, you were genuinely trying to serve people. And the benefits come not because you're doing it. It's not transactional, but it happens. Well, let's shift gears some. I want to get into the how because I have a, you know, people like we, you know. Yes, okay, maybe I understand. I believe you. But you said something in the book that I think people struggle to believe, and it really speaks to the how. You talked about gifts. You said meaning is found in discovering your gifts, but purpose is found in giving them away. And I think the. I think a lot of people don't believe they have gifts, first of all. So is this kind of. So talk to us about how we find our unique purpose, because we're all unique, right? We all have.

24:43
Tom Stanfill
I believe we all have a genius. We all have. I love this book, the working genius idea. We all have a genius. So can we really. Is that really true? Can we discover it? How do we leverage that and, and then find our purpose?

24:57
Dr. Randy Ross
Yeah, long question, but yeah, that. Well, so here's the way I like to explain it. The first thing you have to do is understand your values. What's most important to you, what drives you, what motivates you. And what happens is you begin to unearth not only those things that you're passionate about, but also your strengths. And there's a lot of talk in the marketplace about leaning into your passion, leveraging your strengths and all of that. And I think those are great, but in and of themselves, they're a bit hollow. Because the idea is once you've established your values, you know what your values are. They're solid. You combine that with your passion and your passion, you can ask two simple questions. What makes my heart burn bright? Or what breaks my heart? You know what. What causes me to have compassion for others? That's.

25:52
Dr. Randy Ross
That's a great way to kind of draw out Your passion, those things that you really love to do that resonate with you. And then your strengths are those things that you naturally do well. And again, there's a lot of talk about strengths finders and strength, leveraging your strengths in the marketplace. But the key is to take those three elements, values, passion, strengths, and focus it on solving a problem, because that's where the value comes in. What problem are you going to solve in the world? And it doesn't have to be global. You know, it can be very personal, it can be very immediate, like opening the door for someone, as my father challenged me to do in high school. And there's a need. Fill the need, meet the need, be aware. And then all that rolled together helps you begin to understand what your.

26:45
Dr. Randy Ross
What your purpose is. And here's an interesting statement. It's a statement by a psychologist by the name of Carl Jung. And many of you may be familiar with his work, but Carl Jung, he said this. He said, the world will ask you who you are, and if you can't answer it clearly, the world will tell you.

27:06
Tab Norris
That's good.

27:07
Dr. Randy Ross
What I want to express is you don't need the world to tell you who you are. If you let the world tell you who you are, then you're going to be a very unhappy, miserable person because the world will then begin to not only define you, but they will then begin to measure you by what they think is success.

27:28
Tom Stanfill
Wow.

27:28
Dr. Randy Ross
And that. And that's a misguided notion. So you need to know clearly who you are, and you need to be able to state that definitively. So here's real simple exercise that I encourage everybody to go through is, what's your personal purpose statement? Why are you here? You know, every. Every endeavor, every organization worth their salt has a purpose statement, a mission statement. But I ask leaders all the time, what's your personal purpose statement? And they look back at me with a blank stare. What do you mean? Well, I mean, why are you here?

28:01
Tom Stanfill
Yeah. Yeah. What's your purpose?

28:05
Dr. Randy Ross
What's your purpose on this plan?

28:06
Tom Stanfill
What do you mean? At the beginning of the book, what do you mean? What kind of question is that? Yeah, I don't even know what you're talking about.

28:11
Dr. Randy Ross
You mean, what do I do? No, I don't really care what you do. Why, why are you here? You know?

28:16
Tom Stanfill
Yeah.

28:17
Dr. Randy Ross
Just to make money. Is it just to take care of your own, or do you have a bigger vision, a bigger plan? And so if you don't have a personal life purpose statement, hey, go to our website at Dr.randyross.com click on the resource tab and there's some worksheets that are free. You can go there and get free worksheets on how do you craft your own life purpose statement? And I challenge every single person to do that.

28:44
Tom Stanfill
That's awesome. That I love that Carl Jung quote. Really got to me.

28:51
Tab Norris
Yeah.

28:51
Tom Stanfill
If you know the world will ask.

28:52
Dr. Randy Ross
You who you are.

28:53
Tom Stanfill
That is so true. I mean we are. And then we ping around because there's so many answers to that questions and we just wander around and what do you. What is the biggest barrier for us to really realize that? Let's say we're willing to do the exercise. What do you think? Really we're. Because I have a suspicion about this. But we look at our values. I love that you simply clarify that you look at our values, our passion and our strengths. And I think if we just were open to whatever that answer is, it'd probably be pretty easy to land on the answers to that question.

29:26
Tom Stanfill
But I still think it's hard for us to pick a path because the world may offer a better answer than what that the answer to our question of what's our values, passion and strength, the answer that leads to versus what we might see out in the world. Talk a little about that. You agree with that tab?

29:43
Tab Norris
Yeah, totally.

29:45
Dr. Randy Ross
Well, I think our, our purpose is very similar and that's this. And many organizations have figured this out. And you know, one here locally in our community who says this all the time. Life is about. And work, by the way. Life and work are about making a difference, not making a dollar.

30:07
Tom Stanfill
Is that Chick Fil A?

30:09
Dr. Randy Ross
Yeah, it just happens to be Chick Fil A. Which, you know, we can talk about that. But they're not the only organization that espouses that. But it's true. It's about making a difference in the world. And so your purpose is about making a difference in the world. What I like to call creating movements of good. And you can do that personally and you can do that organizationally. You know, there's a big movement afoot. I know you guys are keen on this called conscious capitalism. And it's just about this idea of making a difference, creating a legacy, you know, a care based culture. Some people call it people forward. They might call it prospering for profit on purpose. Whatever you call it's all about connecting with the community in such a way that you give back.

30:55
Tab Norris
Yeah.

30:56
Dr. Randy Ross
And it's not A matter of what you do. It's how and why you do it. It's about touching people's lives. So here's an interesting question. Let's talk about this for a second. What's the purpose of business? Because I believe that people were not created to drive business. Business is created to enhance people.

31:24
Tab Norris
Yes, 100% agree with that. I mean, it's like. And it's what we do with it.

31:30
Tom Stanfill
It's.

31:30
Tab Norris
That's not the end game. And I think our world make can make that the end game.

31:34
Dr. Randy Ross
But, Tad, let me ask you how many organizations have you run across that their mindset, their culture, their attitude is, well, you're here to serve the organization if you don't, somebody else.

31:47
Tom Stanfill
Right, right.

31:51
Dr. Randy Ross
Good businesses drive business. Great businesses leverage people to drive business. But remarkable organizations use the business to invest in the people who then grow the business.

32:10
Tom Stanfill
Yeah.

32:11
Dr. Randy Ross
And there's a big difference. And you can tell, you can walk the halls of any organization and you can tell, are they about the people? Are they about pushing their product? And you can tell.

32:20
Tom Stanfill
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You could tell. Yeah. It's, it's so easy to walk into organizations and see that the pyramid is the pyramid, meaning the leaders at the top, the CEOs at the top, and the sales reps are at the bottom and the customers are below them. And it's all about what's happening at the top of the pyramid and how we need to get our stock price up and what, you know, all the pressure that's related to hitting the numbers. And it's so easy to get consumed with that and then wanting to get to the top, because at the top is all the gold, right? All the gold and all the power. And we're constantly saying, no, you need to turn the pyramid upside down and say, at the top is the customer. We're all about serving the customer.

33:03
Tom Stanfill
And then the people in the organ, the leaders in the organization, serve the people who serve the customer. And when you do that, people do have purpose. You're more successful. Now, short time, there's the problem is the short term versus the long term. And I think that's, you know, when you're Chick Fil A and you can, you can invest in that philosophy and, you know, and they're not publicly traded, they say, this is who we are. This is what we're doing. And over time, it just became this incredibly successful business where that, you can see that that philosophy pays off. Talk to the People who though, are in their little bubble of like, maybe I'm a leader of 10 in a big organization or I'm a sales rep out there who says, yeah, but they're all they care about is the number. Right?

33:46
Dr. Randy Ross
That.

33:46
Tab Norris
That was my question. I had the same question, Tom. No, no, I'm just validating that because that's what we run into all the time. I just was with a group last week and that's what they were saying, you know, were talking about that upside down triangle and it's like, but you don't understand. The company I work for is just. They don't buy this.

34:05
Dr. Randy Ross
Well, man, that. That's exactly what I told my dad when he challenged me in high school. Dad, you don't get it. You don't get it. You don't understand. I'm just one person. What can I do? You know, there are a thousand seniors in my class. What can I do? No, nobody's giving me the time of day. What can I do? And here's the thing. You. To change the world for good sounds rather audacious, right? Change the whole organization. How can I do that? Well, here's the thing. If you do for one person what you wish you could do for everyone, you might likely change the whole world for someone. If you change the whole world for someone, I pretty much guarantee it'll change your whole world too.

34:51
Dr. Randy Ross
So when we're talking about changing the world for good, we're talking about changing your corner of the world for good. And your corner of the world might be right now the people on the elevator with you. And that's it. It might be that one person who's in your office. It might be that one client that you're in front of. It might be that one individual you just met at a restaurant or on the street. That's. That's your whole world right now. So how are you going to leave a positive weight? And I think sometimes we're too concerned about, you know, the huge strategy, the large strategy of where is this going to go? Yeah, if you just do the next right thing. Yeah, it's amazing how it will work out. Just do the next right thing.

35:32
Tab Norris
Right.

35:34
Tom Stanfill
If you give up the. Just the desire for wealth, like the material, because that. I think that's the enemy in the story, right? A lot of it's either I want freedom or I want the stuff. Like it's just so hard to give that up. And it's. And everybody's pointing to it, like, if you do this, we're going to go public. And if you go public, you'll have this money. And if you have this money, you'll be happy. I mean, it's just, I mean, all the current is moving in one. And so this idea of, well, yeah, but if I go, if I look at my passions and my strengths and what I really go, well, I'm not going to get the money. And I think the reality is just like the Chick Fil a story.

36:10
Tom Stanfill
If you follow your strengths, and I'd love to hear your perspective on this, you follow your strengths and you do the things that you know you're wired to do and you seek the purpose and leverage your gifts to serve other people. I think eventually you'll get to the. You will find that's going to lead you to what you really want, like you're going to get. And most likely, and I'm sure this isn't true for everybody, most likely, you're probably going to be a lot more wealthy than you would be if you tried to chase the things that you're not good at and you're not passionate about. Like, you're going to burn out. You're going to, you know, so it's, it almost. I can't say that it's. The research tells me that it's true.

36:48
Tom Stanfill
You're going to make more money if you're other centered is what we always talk about. You have your purpose and want to start. But it feels true to me. It's like, look at how well these organizations do that really sincerely want to serve their people and serve their customers. And maybe I'm just speaking to business people.

37:04
Dr. Randy Ross
Well, let's, let's define or redefine a couple of things. First of all, yeah, you may or may not make more money.

37:13
Tom Stanfill
Yeah. Right.

37:14
Dr. Randy Ross
But you will be more wealthy.

37:16
Tab Norris
Yes. Maybe things that money can't buy.

37:18
Dr. Randy Ross
You will be rich. You know, you'll be relationally rich, you'll be emotionally rich, you'll be spiritually rich, you'll be community rich.

37:25
Tom Stanfill
Yeah.

37:25
Dr. Randy Ross
So I think that, and it's interesting we keep talking about Chick Fil A because they're here in our backyard, but. Yeah, but do you think that true at. Kathy, when he was at the grill in the dwarf house.

37:37
Tom Stanfill
Yeah.

37:38
Dr. Randy Ross
Was thinking about what Chick Fil a would become today.

37:42
Tom Stanfill
Yeah.

37:43
Dr. Randy Ross
No, he couldn't have imagined. There's no way in the world. There was no strategy. He just loved on people. If he knew anything about truth, he found as much satisfaction walking Through a parking lot, picking up the trash to make the environment better, or giving a gift to someone who came into his restaurant who was in need. He found he found fulfillment and purpose in that, and he set the tone for the entire organization. And they just have been able to maintain that focus through all of these years because they had a strong guess what purpose statement that kept him on that was genuine. And it was genuine. But they started in 1946. It's not been an overnight success, and we're talking about 80 years, you know, but because they've been able to maintain that focus. So it's not immediate gratification.

38:34
Dr. Randy Ross
I think that's the fallacy of the world wants to give you.

38:37
Tab Norris
That's probably the biggest enemy.

38:39
Dr. Randy Ross
It's a formula to immediate gratification, and it's not, it's a formula for immediate satisfaction.

38:47
Tom Stanfill
Yeah.

38:48
Dr. Randy Ross
But the gratis gratification doesn't necessarily come in terms of monetary reward or worldly success.

38:55
Tom Stanfill
Yeah, this has been great, Randy. Such a great encouragement. Let's close by talking about our purpose. All right. Let's put our money where our mouth is. Tab. I know, like, I want to. I'm looking at you, and I'm thinking about probably my biggest light bulbs have come out lit up for me and participating in what you've started at negotiation, and I'll let you talk about that, but I'd love for all of us kind of talk about what our purpose is and what drives us every day and how we've applied this and what has it meant for us. Yeah.

39:29
Tab Norris
You want me to go first?

39:30
Tom Stanfill
Yeah.

39:31
Tab Norris
Okay. Well, yeah, this is one of those things where I, I, I, I think my per. I didn't know what I, I got exposed to something that became a purpose. My purpose. I felt like I, I wanted to pour into college students. I live in a college town. I live in Athens and tried a couple times.

39:50
Dr. Randy Ross
Is there a college in Athens?

39:51
Tab Norris
Yeah, it's a small little technical school. Has a. But anyway, and so tried on a couple of occasions to do Bible studies and blah, blah. And it just, it just, it failed. We repelled people. And I'm like, well, I feel like this is my purpose, but it's just not happening. And were giving up. And a couple of people that had been in one of these Bible says, hey, you and Fletcher, my buddy who started this with he, they said all the guys, all these fraternity guys, when you two start talking about business and being entrepreneurs and being a believer in that Space, they light up. They want to be around you and hear how you've done that. And it seems like you have a bigger purpose than just making money. So it led to something called the Negotiam Society, which is.

40:46
Tab Norris
It's a mentoring group for entrepreneurship for seniors at University of Georgia in the Greek system.

40:52
Dr. Randy Ross
Love it.

40:53
Tab Norris
And we pour into 22 selected men every year on our third year. And we teach everything from a biblical perspective. And what we talk about, Randy, is do you live for the dot or the line? It's vivo ad limium, which is basically live for the line. The dot is our 80 to 100 years we have on Earth, but our purpose is eternal. And it's what are we going to. And that's what your book, this whole book, this. That's all I could think about. It was exactly what we're trying to pour into these colleagues, young men, to teach them.

41:25
Dr. Randy Ross
You're.

41:26
Tab Norris
If you don't understand this, it doesn't matter how much success you make have in the world, you will not be successful.

41:32
Dr. Randy Ross
And so I'm thinking that might be required reading material.

41:36
Tab Norris
I think you are right.

41:38
Dr. Randy Ross
I think you are right.

41:39
Tab Norris
That's a really good point, Randy. Yeah, you got me thinking. When I finished this book last night, I was like, okay, I think we may have an assignment.

41:46
Tom Stanfill
Yeah, well, I want to piggyback on that because my purpose is to have an impact on the relationships that matter the most. So that's why we started ASLAN's like, we learn all these principles about how to communicate and influence. Well, how does that translate to more than just selling? How can it translate into being better parents, spouses and people and friends, community, you know, members of community. So Tab had me. And this is a recent story. I think it was last year. Tab, you had me share, I guess, my story. We always talk, you know, came and spoke and talk about the book and. And it was right after somebody's mom had just passed away. Somebody had been killed on campus. There was a lot of stuff. Somebody committed suicide. I mean, I was. And I was on the.

42:32
Tab Norris
It was a very heavy day.

42:35
Tom Stanfill
And God gave me a message. Middle of the night, woke up and he just gave me a message. And I delivered that message along. It kind of wrapped around my story and shared some truths. And it was. I mean, I left there. I was 10ft off the ground. I have never felt more alive. And I said to God, I said, I will do that for free for the rest of my life.

42:58
Tab Norris
Yes. Yes.

43:00
Tom Stanfill
I have never felt so used because these People just what they were going through and how I was able. God allowed me to enter in that situation and talk to them. It was just. It was something I've never. It's like, that's what this is. All. This is what you're talking about. Like, yeah. And everything else disappeared. All my problems.

43:16
Tab Norris
Yes.

43:16
Tom Stanfill
All the things I'm trying to accomplish and all the things I think I need. That was way down. And so. And it's a fight, right? To. Not because I get back in the current. It all takes me to a different direction. How much money do you have? What's your cash flow? Who are you going to hire? What's wrong? What it needs to be fixed if you don't fix it. I mean, all those things face me every morning. But I'm. Remember that the most recent situation where I go, that's. That's my purpose. That's what you're talking about.

43:44
Dr. Randy Ross
That's exactly right. There you go. So let me share my purpose statement with you, and I'll share a story, and we can kind of begin to wrap it up. But my personal purpose statement is in my words and in my deeds, I want to inspire people to be remarkable. I'm an author and a speaker, so in my words, obviously, I want to inspire people, but in my deeds, because it's not enough just to say it and write it. You've got to do it. So in my words and my deeds, I want to inspire people. I commit to inspire people to be remarkable. Remarkable, obviously, is a powerful word. It's the name of our company, name of our book, one of our books. It just means to make such a lasting, positive impression in the world that you leave an indelible mark of good.

44:33
Dr. Randy Ross
And that's what it's all about. My wife and I, we kind of had a chance to experiment with this personally, I guess, and God just orchestrated the circumstances because as our children began to grow up, we felt like we had more to give to the world. And we became a doc. We went through the process to get certified to be adoptive parents, foster parents. And so there were two boys in the system here in Georgia that we really had our hearts focused on that needed help. They were in dire situations. So went through the certification process. And just as were getting certified, those two boys went to another family, which was great. We were excited. Wonderful situation. But it kind of left us wondering, okay, well, what was that all about? You have us moving in that direction.

45:25
Dr. Randy Ross
We were so excited about it, getting ready to bring these two boys into Our home, and it didn't work out. So what was that about? And not a month went by until a young man came into our lives. Our son happened to play basketball with him. And he was a kid, 8th grade, who just was in a very troubled situation. He was about ready to fail school in the eighth grade. No family support. His didn't have a father figure. His mother was struggling to make ends meet. She couldn't support him emotionally or financially. They'd moved up from Florida and were new in the area, and it was just a difficult situation. And we invited him to come to our house, and he came over regularly, and we got to know him very well. His name is Jonathan.

46:12
Dr. Randy Ross
One thing led to another, and one night, our son came to us and said, hey, mom, dad sat on the end of our bed. You know, Jonathan's in a really desperate situation. It's not good. And I'm just wondering, you know, could he come live with us? And I thought, well, that's.

46:31
Tab Norris
That's a pretty big question.

46:33
Dr. Randy Ross
That's a big question. So we had to have a long, hard talk. You know, if. If this works out. It's a long story. I won't draw it out. But here's the final point. We asked his mother. So we don't want guardianship. We just need to have. Excuse me. We don't want to adopt him. We just need legal guardianship in order for Jonathan to come live with us. Would you be open to that? To get him into a better situation academically, athletically? Would you consider letting him live with us, as she agreed? And that was when he was 13. He's 26 now, and he's lived with us this entire time until the last couple of years when he's moved out on his own.

47:10
Dr. Randy Ross
And I can just tell you know, when I share that story with people, they always say, man, what an incredible thing you've done for jj. And our response every time is, no, you don't understand what JJ's done, what it's done for us as a family. You don't understand the gift it was to us to be able to invest in this young man who was, you know, didn't have many options in life, honestly. But now he's out in the world and he's flourishing, and he's doing well, and just the joy and the satisfaction of being able to make the difference in someone's life. And I'm not suggesting that everybody needs to be an adoptive parent or foster parent to make this happen. But the point I am Saying is that if you're alert and if you're aware, God will bring a circumstance across your path.

47:57
Dr. Randy Ross
Tab. Through a mentoring program. Right. Through, you know, business opportunities, God will bring people across your path, that you will be able to do things for them that they could not normally do for themselves. And whether that's in a small gesture or a grand gesture, it doesn't really matter. It's about changing your corner of the world one act of kindness at a time. It's about thinking beyond yourself. Know, we've always said leadership has to be about something more than self interest.

48:29
Tab Norris
Right.

48:29
Dr. Randy Ross
And if we want to make a difference in society, we have to do that on a personal and on a corporate level.

48:35
Tom Stanfill
Right.

48:35
Dr. Randy Ross
And I'll just tell you know, from a business standpoint, and I consult with organizations all the time, people like to do good business with businesses that do good.

48:45
Tab Norris
Very true.

48:47
Dr. Randy Ross
And, you know, if you want to get raving fans, if you want to get a loyalty support base, and you don't do it for that reason. Going back, you know, Tab, both of y'all kind of alluded to this. You don't do it for that reason, because if it's insincere, it's not going to work transaction. If it's transactional, it will not work. But if it's transformational and you're doing it for the right reason, I guarantee you it will produce rich fruit. And so and we.

49:16
Tom Stanfill
Yeah. And that will be the source of joy and peace and what we really want. Wow. I love it. Randy. Tab, anything else? How do you be?

49:25
Tab Norris
I have nothing to tell that I want to finish. What you just said is so powerful.

49:30
Tom Stanfill
That's a. That's a cool story. That's a great story. Yeah. And that has a big impact on the line.

49:37
Tab Norris
Yes.

49:38
Tom Stanfill
That's all about that on the line a lot. You know, the thing is I think we all want to do something big. Like we're drawn to be in a stadium and stand in that stadium, and that feels good. But where the really want to change the world, it's about a small group of people.

49:53
Tab Norris
Yeah.

49:54
Tom Stanfill
You know, it's really about a smaller. The impact, I think, about the people that have impact on me, they are. They're not famous. I mean, some of them have done really well, but, you know, like, you might know who they are, but they've said the thing to me or they've invested in me and. And that. Who knows how that's led to how I've impacted my kids and my kids how will they impact their. It's a small group of people. I mean, the people that are famous. Yeah. I mean, yeah, there's. They have a voice and they may have more resources that they can buy and do things or invest in things, but I think the real change happens in small groups.

50:25
Dr. Randy Ross
Absolutely.

50:25
Tab Norris
I agree.

50:26
Dr. Randy Ross
It's one person, one act of kindness, one touch at a time. And that here's the idea. If we all do for one what we wish we could do for everyone, if we all did one thing, all of us together.

50:38
Tom Stanfill
Yeah. Yeah.

50:39
Dr. Randy Ross
We can change the world for good.

50:42
Tab Norris
Yep.

50:42
Tom Stanfill
That's right.

50:43
Dr. Randy Ross
If everybody had that mindset, that's it.

50:47
Tom Stanfill
Dr. Ross, thank you, my friend. Thank you for joining us. Thank you for giving us your time and your talents and your gifts so that we all can be more inspired to be. To do the things that will make us rich.

51:01
Dr. Randy Ross
Well, it's always good to hang out with both of you guys. Tab. Tom, thanks for. Thanks for the gift of your time and I hope this has been an encouragement to some of your listeners.

51:10
Tom Stanfill
Thank you, my friend.

51:10
Tab Norris
An encouragement to me. Thank you, Randy. Appreciate it.