Many sellers believe the key to winning more deals is learning how to close better.
But the real problem is not closing. It is failing to advance the opportunity.
In this episode of Sales with ASLAN, Tom Stanfill and Tab Norris unpack one of the most practical truths from ASLAN’s 30 Truths for 30 Years series:
To sell more, focus on the buyer process, not your commission.
When sellers focus on their own outcome, they often push for premature decisions, rely on generic follow-up, and allow deals to stall. But when they focus on helping the buyer move through their decision process, opportunities advance more naturally, and trust grows.
If you want to improve sales conversations, opportunity management, and your ability to advance deals, this episode will give you practical ideas you can use immediately.
Listen to the 39 minute conversation here:
Sales teams talk a lot about closing.
Leaders want deals to move. Sellers want better conversion. Everyone wants more opportunities to advance.
But many stalled deals can be traced to one mistake: sellers focus on getting the customer to buy instead of helping the customer make a decision.
That mindset creates pressure, weakens trust, and leads to follow-up that goes nowhere.
In our latest episode, Tom and Tab unpacked a simple but powerful truth:
“To effectively advance the opportunity, focus on the buyer process, not your commission.”
That shift changes everything.
When sellers focus on the buyer process, they lead more clearly, earn more trust, and create next steps that actually move the opportunity forward.
The word closing often creates the wrong instinct.
It can push sellers to focus on getting the deal done rather than helping the buyer move through the right decision-making process. That is where many opportunities stall. Buyers do not want to feel managed. They want to feel helped.
This does not mean sellers should become passive. It does not mean they should end meetings with “let me know” and hope the buyer follows through. What it means is that sellers should lead, but lead in a way that supports how the buyer buys.
That is the difference between pressure and progress.
One of the most practical ideas in the episode is this: sell the process, not just the solution.
Too many sellers jump to the solution before the buyer is ready. They send information too early. They push proposals too soon. They talk about scope and pricing before the customer has worked through the decisions that must come first.
Strong sellers do something different.
They identify where the buyer is in the journey, then help them move to the next stage. Maybe the buyer is still trying to decide what path to take. Maybe they are assessing internal readiness. Maybe they are evaluating options. Maybe they are ready to look at solutions.
Each stage requires a different conversation. As Tom said,
“Your process should always be helping the customer move through that, and you are helping, communicating why it’s in their best interest to take this next step.”
That is what it means to advance the opportunity. You are not forcing movement. You are creating clarity.
One of the clearest tactical takeaways from the conversation is this: every meeting should end with a commitment.
Not a vague follow-up.
Not an open loop.
Not “we’ll circle back.”
A real commitment.
That commitment may be a calendar date. It may be an agreement to include another stakeholder. It may be a decision point. It may even be a pause, if that is the right move.
But there should be a defined next step.
Why? Because once the meeting ends, everything gets harder. Other priorities show up. Details get fuzzy. Internal distractions take over. Momentum drops. If the next step is not established during the meeting, the opportunity often starts to drift the moment the call ends.
Most sellers know they need commitment. The problem is that they do not want to sound pushy or transactional.
That concern is valid, but the issue is usually not the ask. It is the intent behind it. If the next step sounds designed to protect the seller’s pipeline, buyers feel pressure. If the next step focuses on helping the buyer make a smarter decision, buyers are much more open.
The key is to explain why the next step matters for them.
- What will it help them clarify?
- What obstacle will it remove?
- When sellers do that well, commitment no longer feels pushy. It feels useful.
“We should always be leading. It’s just what we’re leading them to.”
This line captures the difference. Leading is not the problem. Self-serving leadership is the problem.
Tom and Tab talk about the importance of creating a fork in the road. That means helping the buyer and the seller get honest about what happens next. Are we moving forward? Are we waiting on something important first? Are we not really at the right stage yet? Are we not a fit?
Those are healthy questions.
Without that kind of clarity, sellers often get pulled into activities that feel productive but don't actually move the deal forward.
They send more decks. More summaries. More proposals. More follow-up emails. More custom work.
Sometimes those requests are part of the process. Often, they are just busy work.
When sellers avoid the fork in the road, they usually end up working harder on opportunities that are not really progressing. That is frustrating for the seller and unhelpful for the buyer.
The best sellers are not trying to push buyers into a decision. They are trying to help buyers make the right decision. Whether that means slowing the process down or acknowledging that another issue has to be solved first. Sometimes that means admitting your solution is not the right fit for where the buyer is right now.
That approach builds credibility fast.
Buyers can tell when a seller is trying to win. They can also tell when a seller is trying to help. The second one earns trust. And trust changes the conversation.
It makes buyers more honest. It makes obstacles easier to surface. It creates better alignment around what really needs to happen next.
At first, this approach can feel slower. It may feel like you are backing off. It may feel like you are giving the buyer too much room. It may even feel like you are risking the deal.
In reality, the opposite is true: when buyers trust you, they tell you more, let you into the real process, share concerns earlier, bring you back in when timing changes, and refer you to others.
“We are going to sell more when we’re other-centered.”
That is the long-term payoff.
Being Other-Centered® does not mean becoming passive. It means staying focused on what is best for the buyer, while still leading with clarity and conviction.
And that is how great sellers win more business.